Welcome to the Cullen's
by Ducati
Summary: A nod to Kristen's new movie Welcome to the Riley's. Bella is a foulmouthed stripper with a troubled past. She does whatever she can to make money. Edward is just graduating from College and falls in love with her. But, can he save her from herself?
1. Chapter 1 Work

Chapter 1 – Work

_Fuck me,_ I thought as I got out of my piece of shit 1995 Red Jetta, slamming the door and leaning up against it to light another cigarette. Another long fucking night that hadn't even started yet.

I took a long drag from my smoke and slowly strode to the employee entrance. I noticed three motherfuckers looking at me, already ogling me and clearly drunk as fuck, and it wasn't even 7pm yet.

_Well, might as well work it_, I thought. I shot them my sexiest smile, staring at them from underneath my lashes. I licked my lips and bit the bottom one gently.

I heard cat calls and hooting and hollering. They knew what I was and I knew they would be looking for me as soon as I was on the floor. Shit, I bet their dicks were already hard just thinking about me. _Stupid motherfuckers_, I thought as I winked at Mike, our bouncer outside.

"Hey, Bella. Ready for a wild night?" He smirked. Shit, this was never ever a good sign.

"Fuck you." I smiled, walking through the door he held for me, slapping my ass as I passed.

Dreading what I would find, I walked up to the board to find what I would be working tonight. Scanning for my name, I finally found it with a groan. Fucking son of a bitch!

I saw I was only on main stage once and side stage twice, that meant very little fucking money. I guess I better make nice with Rosalie. She was going to be on main stage four times tonight, if I was lucky and really fucking nice to her she might let me join her at least once.

I hate this stupid shitty ass club. True, it was the nicest one in all of Port Angeles, and one of the nicest in the whole state, but I still hated the fucking politics of it. Alice and Rose got main stage the most. It all had to do with the size of your tits, naturally. Alice was a large C, so that guaranteed her at least twice on main. Rose, on the other hand, had large over filled motherfucking fake ones, so hence main stage four motherfucking times.

I on the other hand was hot, nice ass, fucking great legs, but was somewhat lacking with my modest B cup.

I sighed, trying to be all fucking giddy and girlie for when I would run into Rose. I had to be on my best behavior, she hated it when I swore, but what the fuck ever.

I made my way to the dressing area and saw Rose sitting in front of her mirror. She was applying copious amounts of foundation and rouge to her cheeks.

Of course she looked hot, she never looked not hot. Her long wavy, blond hair cascaded down her back. She wore four inch stiletto heels on her feet and wore nothing else. She must not have decided what to wear yet.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, preparing myself for all of Rose's excitement. The booming base in the next room was not helping me get excited. Motherfucking New Kids on The Block, "Full Service", fuck me, it was starting early. Great song to dance to, very suggestive, easy to grind to, but fucking awful if you weren't trying to make some money.

I opened my eyes to find Rose, bopping her head from side to side, giggling. Arg, she was perky. Well, at least it wouldn't be too hard to convincer her.

I threw on my perkiest smile and squealed a little, pretending to just notice her. "Rose! Can you believe, New Kids already?"

She turned slowly in her seat so as not to ruin the make up she was so carefully applying. "Bella!" She squealed back and jumped out of her seat, no small feat for the four inch heels and running over to me, grabbing me and crushing me to her…did I mention she was completely naked, ew.

"Hey! So I was wondering. You're off on Tuesday night, right?" I asked and she nodded, thankfully pulling away from me. "Well, I was wondering if you wanted to go to the spa or something. I swallowed hard, the next words out of my mouth were my least favorite in the human language, "You know, girl's day out?"

She jumped up and down, clapping her hands. I stepped back, hoping she wouldn't poke anyone's eyes out with those nipples. "Yay! That would be so great!" Her voice was eight octaves too high and I knew she must be spending too much time with Alice. I secretly hoped that they had no other plans to hang out again before Tuesday. Maybe Rose could come down a little by then.

"This will be awesome! We can get manicures and pedicures! And then…" I stopped paying attention as I made my way to my table, setting my bag down and grabbing my own foundation.

I hmmed and haaed as Rose planned our day from start to finish, looking into the mirror appraising my job. Fucking sparkles at the corners of my eyes (they made my eyes pop). Bright fucking wet looking pink lips (guys liked it when I was sucking them off). But I did all that for them, there was no way I was going to forego my black as night eye shadow and eyeliner. Fucking good job, if I said so myself. I wasn't all fucking girly like Rose with her sparkles everywhere, her shiny white liner and silver powder.

"Hey, Rose. I was thinking, you wanna so our Perry routine tonight?"

She looked appraisingly over at me, I assumed to make sure I looked hot, but not hotter than her. I guess she saw whatever she was looking for. "Sure! How about my main stage at 11? Should be packed by then." Yeah, fucking Saturdays.

"Awesome!" Well at least the whole night wasn't going to be a total loss. I'd probably have to still give a few blowjobs, but whatever.

Don't get me wrong. This was definitely one of the nicer clubs. And, of course, we didn't offer to just anyone, regulars and VIP's. If they pay enough, they get what ever they want. That was the rule.

Yes, fine. I'm a whore. But, I'm good at it and I'm going to do it anyway, so why not get paid for it. I was more particular than some of these girls here, I don't do old or creepy…Okay so creepy is relative…I mean they are in a strip club, so I guess they are all technically creepy. And, I always got tested for every STD under the sun, once a week.

I walked over to my locker, trying to decide what to wear as Rose continued to babble, dressing in her short pink skirt and white tube top. _Well_, I thought, _a simple black skirt, barely enough to cover my ass was a no brainer_. I grabbed it and a lacy black bra. Rose was peering behind me into my locked. "Wear the Men's White suit shirt and tie it in the front." She instructed. I knew she was right because it went with all my songs, I nodded and grabbed it.

I shirked out of my clothes and grabbed a black thong from my bag (I always kept a few fresh, clean ones in there, just in case.)

I stepped into the panties and Rose watched me as I dressed. "You know, Bella. You could try to put on a couple of ponds. It might help with the boob situation." She said staring directly at my tits, I frowned. "Or! I could give you the name of my surgeon. He's great!"

I rolled my eyes, glad my back was to her. "Yeah, maybe." I said, not wanting to screw up being on main stage twice.

"Cool! Well, I gotta get out there! See ya at eleven! Oh, and wear something different."

She bounded out of the room. I sighed and returned to my locker, trying to figure out what else would do. I took out a red tank top and a pleated, even short black skirt. The black bra would do, but I reached into my bag and found a red g-string. I layed everything out on my chair for later.

I took a deep breath and grabbed my knee high, black patent leather four inch stiletto heels, sliding them on and zipping them up. I crossed the room to look into the full length mirror. Fucking hot, as usual.

I appraised my hair and decided to let my long chocolate brown make hang loose, falling past my shoulders. All looked perfect.

It was time. I sighed and left the dressing room, stopping just behind the curtain that separated me from them. I closed my eyes and pulled back the red velvet curtain, entering my hell.


	2. Chapter 2 Club

I don't Own any of these characters!!!

**Ok, this is my nod to Kristen. Who was not only great in Twilight, but in every other movie she's been in... In case you haven't seen her in anything else, check out SPEAK, IN THE LAND OF WOMEN, INTO THE WILD, THE MESSANGERS, UNDERTOW, and The Cake Eaters which is released to DVD on March 24th. **

**So this story is fowl and dirty and gritty. It does include some rape, but it is a back story, I will let you know when that scene comes up and you can choose to skip it if you wish. I will be doing a playlist for every chapter, some will have more songs than others, this is a club after all! Please enjoy and let me know what you think...This chapter is short, it's just to get you into it, and don't worry Edward will be here soon.**

**PLAYLIST:**

**Kylie Minogue - **Chocolate

**Pussycat Dolls -** Buttons

**New Kids on the Block - **Grown Man

**Britney Spears - **Touch of my Hand

**Nine Inch Nails - **Closer

**Katy Parry - **I kissed a Girl**  
**

Chapter 2 – The Club

I stepped through the long heavy velvet curtain and immediately put on a sexy smile. I was on side stage left, so I slowly sauntered my way past tables, moving my hips seductively. I didn't engage any customers; the boss didn't like to have any stage empty.

I saw Lauren on my stage. Fucking skank. She was the dirtiest bitch in here. I wouldn't touch that piece of shit with a fifty foot pole. I wished I could take out a sanitary wipe and rub the damn pole down, who the hell knows what kind of shit it might be infected with.

Lauren caught my eye as I sauntered up the stage. I climbed the three steps slowly, guys watching our every move, you always have to be conscious of being watched. All sexy, all the time.

Lauren had her hand gripping onto the pole as I strode up behind her grabbing the pole higher. I leaned into her so I was right next to hear ear.

"Get the fuck off my stage, bitch." I whispered, I smiled a sly, sexy grin. She whipped around and put her back on the pole.

"Ah hello, Bella. I got them all warmed up for you." She said with her own sly smile, leaning towards me and grabbing my face. She turned my head to the side and looked at the guys with what she would consider to be sexy bedroom eyes and proceeded to lick my face.

Fuck, I hated it when she did that. Now I had skank germs on me and soon I'd have more thanks to that pole in front of me, still wishing I have the Clorox wipes.

The guys around the small stage went wild and I knew I had to place along, at least a little.

I raised my hand, trailing it up from Lauren's hips to her waist, then to her stomach, up between her almost non-existent boobs to her neck and around the back of her head, grabbing her hair roughly and yanking her head to the side. I leaned in and instead of the kiss I would normally give anyone else, I bit her. Hard. She yelled and I whispered in her ear again, still a smile on my face. "I said. Get. Off. My. Stage. Bitch."

My bite caused more of a reaction than her lick and she fumbled for her top on the floor after I released her. She stumbled down the stairs and shot me an angry glance and I gave her a small wave.

Side stage was always kind of a pain in the ass. It was much smaller than the main stage and all you could really do was wiggle around. Someone really small could crawl maybe three lengths to get some money stuffed into your underwear.

It was also topless only, so I did that that I didn't have to get completely, or mostly naked (you always wear panties period…where the hell else would you put your cash?). It was so small all you could really do was some pole work, which I happened to be very good at.

I stood there slowly moving my hips waiting for the next song to begin, hoping it was something good. Kylie Minogue's "Chocolate" finally started. Okay, not what I was hoping for but it would work.

I began to move my hips, slowly, seductively, in time with the music. I slowly bent down, my ass in the air wiggling at the guys behind me. I placed my hands on my ankles and started to raise myself up. My hands lightly touched my legs, caressing them. I moved my fingers up grazing the outside of my thighs, moving over my waist, briefly running feather light touches over my breasts, up my shoulders. I threw my head back tossing my long hair, biting my lips and grabbed the pole behind me above my head. Grasping the pole slightly I slowly slide down, opening my legs wide revealing my black thong. The crowd of guys around me started to go wile. And I started to hear the 'take it offs'". Usually I didn't give in so fast but I knew if I waited too long they would get bored and leave. I decided to wait until the next song.

Out of the corned of my eye I noticed a big guy, short hair, big grin. He kind of reminded me of a linebacker or maybe a bear. He was shaking a bill in the air. I closed the small distance between us in just a few crawls.

"Hey, baby. Let me see that ass." He growled with a wide grin on his face, I saw his two friends sitting next to him; a blond with short wavy hair was sitting on his right, looking somewhere that was in the direction of main stage, asshole. I tried not to gasp when I saw the gorgeous guy sitting on the big guy's left.

He, I could tell was tall and insanely beautiful. He was pale, but it totally suited him and he had the most shockingly green eyes I had ever seen. His bronze colored hair was messy and all over the place, but in a good non-slob way. He was perfect, almost God-like. I stared at him for half a second, feeling myself getting a little wet between my legs. He sat, shrugged into his chair looking…bored? I resolved that by the end of the night I would change that.

"Hello? Ass?" The big one called from in front of me, wiggling the bill directly under my nose.

I raised myself onto my knees and spun around so I was facing away from the three men. Slowly I bent down, lowering my chest to the floor and raising my ass, spreading my legs slightly. I felt a hand slap my ass as the big one slipped the bill inside my G-string. "Oh, fuck, look at her! She's fucking wet!" He said gaping at the wetness that had seeped through my panties. Shit, I hadn't realized the God sitting behind me had quite so much of a noticeable effect. That very rarely happened to me here, especially just by looking at someone.

"That's a lot of money stuffed in your panties and I want to see you tits." The big one yelled from behind me. I looked to the side of my hip and saw the one hundred dollar bill sticking out from the raised g-string. Fuck, I was staying close to this guy tonight.

I crawled to the pole, using it to slowly rise up letting my ass stick out behind me. I flipped my hair around when I was fully standing, turning to face the guys and made myself keep eye contact with the one who paid me and not the God beside him. I undid the three buttons, swaying my hips slowly. I let my shirt fall to the ground and put my back to the pole sliding down while pushing my tits together. When I was down as far as I could go I opened my legs while I bit my lip, looking at him from under my lashes. I let one hand slide down my body and raised my shirt slightly, running one finger up my inner thigh. I closed my eyes and exhaled slowly, visibly, when my finger finally reached the pace of my panties, running over my pussy. "Fuck yea!" The big one growled.

I allowed my eyes to open and smile. My eyes drifted to the God and I saw him watching me, intent now. That was easier than I thought. I thought I'd have to so some major grinding to get him to look at me the way he was right now. I winked at him and he smiled the most amazing smile. It was crooked and it was perfect. And that's when I knew that I would be focusing most of my attention on him tonight. Fuck the money. Girls like me didn't get to fuck guys like that, not when we were what we were and they could have any girl they wanted.

But he was here and he was looking at me and it looked like he was interested and if he was I was going to take it before I had to go back to the old and the ugly.

He looked like he knew how to fuck and I bet I could actually get something out of it, other than money I mean. Shit, I'd fuck him even if he didn't pay me. And that was rare for me.

Just then I saw my manager look right a me and nod. It was time for my main stage. I danced a little more, never fully removing my bra. Lauren was walking back over to me, ready to take my place. I bent down to the big guy. "Thanks for the inspiration. I'm on main stage in a couple minutes. Hope to see you over there." I said noticing he was staring at my tits. "Don't worry, if you follow me, you'll get a better look." He nodded and watched me as I bent over to retrieve my shirt, making sure my ass was directly in his face. I glanced back at the God sitting there; he was already gathering his leather jacket and his drink. Fuck yeah, he was following me.

Lauren stepped on stage to see the seats surrounding it now empty. "What the fuck?"

"See, guys don't like skank." I said slapping her ass. Hard. I left a nice red hand print mark. She yelped and I laughed.

I went back to the dressing room to redress. This time I did up all the buttons. I touched up my makeup and changed into new panties, black satin and soft.

I waited behind the velvet curtain until I heard my name so I wouldn't be accosted for dances.

"Please welcome to the stage, Roxy." I had a different name every night, never using my real name, ever. I had to make sure none of them could ever find me when I wasn't working, I've known too many girls who have told them and it never ended well. There were some fucking scary guys out there.

I sauntered out from behind the curtain, receiving applause, my regulars knew who I was. My feet hit the first step and I heard the first song start. I stepped to the center of the stage, "Buttons" by Pussycat Dolls, my first of three songs. I waited for the beat to start and when it did the spotlight was on me.

Main stage was much bigger than the two side stages. It had a long runway with a pole dead center. Along the wall behind it was a long mirror and a ballerina bar, great for stretching your leg up to display your pussy.

I faced the crowd, swaying my hips to the Indian inspired intro, my hands above my head. My eyes scanned the crowd. It found the big guy first, the blond one was talking to Alice, one of the other dancers, the hyper one that Rosalie was spending too much time with. She took his hand and led him to the curtain to the back rooms. I smiled to myself; he was in for a treat. Alice, like me, was very good at what she did. My eyes finally drifted to the big one's other side and the pit of my stomach leapt as I saw the God sitting there, watching me. Definitely interested.

I walked in time to the music, my arms swaying at me sides. I walked quickly, confidently, closing the distance to the pole in a short time. I grabbed it above my head and climbed up high, grasping the pole with my knees I flipped myself upside down and slide slowly to midway down, flipping myself head over heels so I was standing on my feet. I faced away from the crowd and side stepped quickly so I would be in front of the God.

I threw my head over my shoulder, tossing my long brown hair and staring right into his heavenly green eyes and I licked my lips unconsciously. I put both hands on the pole and walked them down so my ass was pointed directly at his face. I spread my legs to allow him a better view of my ass. I lowered myself into the splits and brought my legs together, lying down on my back and then flipping myself over to lie on my stomach.

Sliding my legs back under me and rising onto my knees. I straightened up and ripped my shirt open (the buttons were sewn on very loose so they would pop off easily, which limited the chances of taking someone's eye out.) I let the shirt fall off my shoulders to the floor and grabbed my tits to loud hollers. The green-eyed God simply smiled, leaning back in his chair. I danced around a bit, shaking my hips and touching my body.

My first song ended and the second one began; "Grown Man" by none other than New Kids on the Fucking Block. Now, I know what you're thinking. Yes, I do pick my own songs. Yes, I do hate them. But, this one got the guys excited. And, to be honest, there is nothing like watching drunken guys scream out the lyrics to a New Kids song. It was fucking priceless.

I walked to the pole, leaning my back against it, putting my finger in my mouth and bit down, then stuck my tongue out to lick it.

When the lyrics;

Do you like my body?

Do you think I'm a hottie?

Do you wanna go and party?

Well, whatcha gonna do?

Came on I reached around and unhooked my bra and threw it at the big guy who was now on his feet screaming the answering lyrics;

I'm gonna give you some grown man

I'm gonna give you some grown man

He took out another bill and held it out to me. I sauntered over to him, seeing it was not the usual single, but another one hundred dollar bill. This motherfucker had to be loaded. I dropped to my knees and crawled the distance between us, pushing my tits together.

I moved close to him and pulled him by his shirt collar.

"Gonna come see me on stage?" I asked and he nodded. "Sure you don't want to save that will then? Or maybe for a private dance?"

"Fuck that, there's plenty more where this came from. You want it or not?"

I bit his ear and then licked it. "That's not all I want, baby." He groaned and I felt his hand graze my tit as he went to put the bill in my g-string.

"Thanks, baby." I said, bringing my lips close to his but not touching. "I'll see you in a bit." I said standing.

I noticed his friend, the God, looking away.

I danced and did my pole work and was glad when my last song, "Touch of my Hand" by Britney Spears started. This always made me the most money. The third song of your set was when the guys could come and lay on the stage and have a personal, public lap dance. When I started to touch myself half the place would go up, no less than twenty bucks to go up on stage.

I saw the big guy from the corner of my eye. He grabbed a bill and rolled it up, placing it in his mouth getting ready for my signal. I strutted around the stage, putting one foot in front of the other slowly, massaging my tits, pinching my nipples and biting my lip. My hands roamed down my body until my thumbs met my skirt. I tucked them beneath the waistband and pulled down, tugging and wiggling until the skirt hit the floor. I stepped out of it and walked to the pole.

I reached the pole, placing my back against and once again sliding down and spreading my legs, wide this time, my feet together. My knees bent, back against the pole I put my hand to my mouth and licked three fingers. I ran my hand between my tits and down to my pussy. Just when the lyrics; "I'll teach myself to fly" started I started rubbing my clit. I closed my eyes and licked my lips and parted them. I reached my free hand to the big guy and motioned for him to join me.

He was up and stood on his chair to step on to the stage. He lay down in front of me and turned his head to watch me touching myself. I let my eyes travel down his sculpted body; he was built and obviously very hard. He smiled at me with the rolled up bill in his mouth.

Crawling the short distance between us I noticed five guys already on the stage, this was going to go into the next song. I also noticed the God lying on the other side of his friend. I smiled to myself, deciding to leave him for the last.

I climbed on top of the big guy, straddling his waist, sitting above him, giving him a good view from where he lay. I leaned back forcing my ass down on his cock and rocking, just gently. His eyes went wide and he groaned. I felt his cock pulsing below me. I leaned forward, still rocking and put my tits in his face. I know he wanted to lick me, take a nipple in his mouth, but it was difficult with the cash in his mouth, plus if he did he'd get kicked out. Shit like that could never be done in public.

I grinded into him and rubbed his chest for quite a while, longer than usual, but I had to give me a good show for another hundred bucks. Finally I pressed my lips to his ear, "Thanks baby. You're amazing. I hope I get to see…more of you." I said gesturing to his throbbing cock. I brought my lips to his, only not completely touching, a quarter of an inch from his and licked his bottom lip slowly before I took the bills in my mouth and raised myself off of him.

"Best ducking hundred bucks I ever spent." I heard him yell before returning to his beer.

I got around to the other fifteen guys on the stage, not including the God. I finally got done with everyone else when a third song started. "Closer" By Nine Inch Nails.

Oh, fuck. This song always got me wet and now I'd be grinding on this incredibly hot fucking guy. I looked down hoping he was wearing black pants, or some dark color. But of course, because my luck is shit, he was wearing light khaki color. Oh well, I'd apologize after, there was no way I could get out of it now.

I sauntered over, already feeling the wetness between my legs. I straddled him standing over top of him. I tossed my hair, flipping it around. Slowly I descended, kneeling over top of him. I took in a big breath and lowered my pussy to his groin. I instantly felt him, hard and huge beneath me. His eyes rolled back and he closed them and I actually physically moaned as I moved myself back and forth against him. I almost forgot where I was. All I wanted was to feel his hands on me, holding me to him, grabbing at me.

I leaned in and put my tits in his face, tossing my hair again, still grinding. I wished I could feel his tongue licking, sucking, kissing my nipples. I grasped his hair and forced myself more roughly into him. This lasted a while longer than it should have, so when I remembered where I was and what I was supposed to be doing I bent my head to whisper in his ear. "I hope I can see you for a dance later. You feel so good." I said more honestly than I intended.

I let my lips trail down his jaw bone to the bill in his mouth, taking it slowly from him.

I felt his hand move and I tensed looking at him. He opened his eyes to look at mine. He pulled out another bill and rolled it up, one handed and placed it in his mouth.

I looked to my manager standing at the stage, he noticed it was also another one hundred dollar bill and nodded for me to continue.

I stayed rocking on top of him, thanking God for allowing me even this much longer with him.

There was no way he would be able to conceal the wet spot on his lap. It was embarrassing. I had never been this wet before on stage and I had to stop rocking on him or I was going to cum.

I flipped up, tossing my hair behind me so I was sitting on top of him. My hands found the hem of his shirt and I pulled it up until it was around his neck, he put his arms above his head so I could remove the offending shirt, it was hiding him and I wanted more, see more, touch more, feel more.

I gasped as the shirt was thrown away. He was perfect. Thin, but chiseled, but not overly so. I put my fingernails up on his shoulder and pulled down making him shiver beneath me, until I reached his pants.

I decided to take things just one step further and let my hands reach his belt buckle. Slowly, purposefully I moved and unbuckled it. My fingers reached for his button which popped open. And finally it was only his zipper left. Slowly I slid it down and he opened his green eyes, staring at me in wonder and confusion at where this was going.

It wasn't going far enough, that's for sure. My whole body ached to fuck him, to feel him moving inside me.

Shit, more wetness on his crotch. I leaned down, placing my bare tits against his bare chest and it felt like heaven. I put my fingers in his silky hair and whispered. "You are so fucking hot. Look what you do to me. I seem to have made a mess all over your pants. If you come see me later for a dance I promise to make it up to you." I pressed hard onto his throbbing cock with my ass as I returned to the sitting position. He watched me with a raised eyebrow as I stood and retrieved my clothes.

I left him laying there and stepped off the stage, returning to the sanctity of my dressing room to clean myself up.

"Well, well. You looked like you were enjoying yourself." Rose said, beaming at me from her chair, she was fucking naked as usual.

"Yea well he was hot, he's got the greenest eyes I've…" I started but she cut me off.

"Eww, no not that one. The big one. I got wet just by looking at him." I knew what she meant, all I wanted was some new underwear and the last thing I wanted was to be here talking to her. "Can I have him? I mean, I know he's your high payer, but you have that other one. It'd be nice to do a hot guy for once. Plllease?" She whined and begged. She was right, I didn't need two hot guys, she'd done it for me before and she was helping me out tonight…and all I could think of was the green-eyes God anyway. I didn't need the distraction.

I spent the next hour and a half walking around the floor giving lap and table dances, having drinks bought for me and not once drinking any of them. You get sloppy and things can get dangerous pretty quick when you're drunk.

I heard Rose's name announced. Shit, I'd lost track of time. I rushed back to the dressing room and quickly grabbed and threw on the clothes I'd already set aside, thanking God I'd had the foresight to put them aside. Rose would never forgive me if I forgot about our double number.

I got out from behind the curtain just in time for her second song to end. She caught sight of me making my way through the crowd, giving me a huge smile.

Fuck, I hate this. I scanned the crowd hoping to see him. Then I saw them, same place. The big guy was staring, open mouthed at Rose. Yeah, glad I'd already given him up, he was already gone anyway.

Rose was already topless when my feet hit the first step. Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl" came on, this was out number that we choreographed in hopes of bringing in more money, especially on slow nights, we didn't do it often, it was kind of hard for me to stomach. We pushed all the lines to the edge and so far we didn't get into trouble for any indecency laws or lude conduct, so we were good.

I walked over to Rose, standing behind her, putting my hands on her shoulders and running my fingers down her arms and resting on her hips. She turned around and we faced each other, side stepping so we didn't have our backs to the crowd.

We looked into each others eyes and she ran her hand down between my tits and then around my waist to rest on my ass. Little cheers from the audience, there was a little perk of excitement in the air, are they or aren't they?

Just as the lyrics "I kissed a girl" came on we leaned in, our lips locked, chaste at first, there were many more times the bitch would say the lyrics and each time we got more and more raunchy.

The crowd erupted into loud cheers and hollers our lips slowly touched, only for a moment. The big guy had his mouth literally hanging open and the God beside him sat with a cocky little smile perched on his lips.

We danced around touching each other for a while and kissing two more times. Our finale was coming up and I walked a circle around Rose, eyeing her up and down allowing my hand to brush against her body touching her breasts, pinching her nipple playfully. She threw her head back and licked her lips. When I was next to the pole I grabbed it, climbing high and flipping myself upside down. I slide down the pole slightly, moving myself to just the perfect height.

I beckoned Rose closer to me and she sauntered forward, putting her hands on my ass. She spread he legs and my tongue darted out to lick her clit. The crowd went absolutely wild and I have no idea how many guys were on the stage with us, but I didn't notice the bouncers move closer to us.

I licked Rose, Rose licked me. And all that short time I was thinking that I wish Rose was the green-eyed God. Then I abrutbtly stopped thinking about him because if I continued thinking about him I would enjoy myself too much and Rose would kill me if I came while she was licking me. Can you say awkward?

After she stepped away I carefully looked for a spot on the crowded stage to flip back over.

Rose and I cleared the stage giving lap dances to every guy there. Rose saved the big guy for last and I left the green-eyes God for last.

"Gluten for punishment, are you? Like I didn't ruin your pants enough?" I asked him, kneeling at his head and running my hand down his gorgeous body, allowing my pussy to rest in front of his face. I reached his crotch and noticed the stain from me, oops. I was glad he couldn't say much with that bill in his mouth.

I rubbed his legs, arms, stomach, everything but the one thing I desperately wanted to. The DJ came on and announced that we would now be available for private dances and I knew that meant "Get the hell of the fucking stage." I grabbed the bill and whispered, "See you soon?" He nodded and I smiled.

Rose and I grabbed our clothes and stepped off the stage. Before we got halfway to the curtains we heard someone called our 'name." We turned and saw the two guys coming towards us.

The big one was rushing over to us first, which the God walked slower behind him. "So hot. Wow. Dance?" Was all he could manage as he stared at Rose and I knew she was the one he wanted. Rose smiled and looked up at him from under her lashed. I had to admit she looked fucking sexy….Bitch.

The two of them walked off while the God walked toward me. _Please, please, please, ask me for a dance,_ I thought. Then I mentally kicked myself for being such a fucking girl.

"Hi. Sorry about my brother, he was dropped on his head, repeatedly, when he was a baby." He said with a velvet smooth voice that made my knees melt. I should have walked away right then. I know it, but I didn't. I giggled, yes I fucking giggled. Fuck.

"So, um, I was, uh, wondering…" He stammered and I felt nervous like this guy was going to ask me on a date, not just fuck him for money. "If I could, maybe, have a, you know…dance?" He asked uncertainly.

"Of course, I'd love that." I said taking him by the arm and leading him behind the curtain to an empty private room. I sat him on the black leather sofa before turning to the phone that sat in the corner. "Would you like anything to drink, baby?" I asked as sexy as I could, trying to fight the school girl within me.

"Beer? Get yourself something too, if you want."

"Thank you, baby. That's very sweet of you." I said picking up the phone to order, this also let them know where I was in case there were any problems. I ordered him his beer and a shot of tequila for me. Okay, so I know I said no drinking, but I needed some liquid courage!

I sauntered over to him and sat next to him on the couch, pushing my body up to his, curling my legs underneath me. "We'll just wait for our drink and then you can tell me what you're looking for." I said running my fingers along his shoulders. He was tense, must not do this very often.

"It's okay, baby, relax. I won't bite…"I said nuzzling into his ear and licking it making him shiver. "…unless you want me to." And I took a small, playful nip, which made him groan, which in turn made my pussy tingle.

There was a knock at the door and one of the waitresses came in with our drinks. He took out a fifty and handed it to her without even looking at it. She smiled wide and bustled quickly out of the room.

_Alone at long fucking last,_ I thought. I straddled him, taking the salt from the table. I licked my hand, sprinkled some salt on it, looking directly into his eyes, I picked up the lemon and the shot. Lick, shoot, suck. All while never taking my eyes from his.

I replaced my shot glass on the table and felt the warming sensation flowing through my body, liquid fucking courage.

I put my hands on his chest and wiggled my ass into his already, or still, hard cock. I bit my lip and moved to kiss his neck, never ceasing my hips for a moment. I licked his neck. He smelled so good. I bit his neck. He sounded so good. I sucked his neck. He tasted so good.

But abruptly his hands caught my hips and stilled them. "Couldn't we just talk for a bit?" He asked, cautiously.

Fuck! Of course, the mother fucking green-eyed God was a talker. I should have fucking known I wouldn't be lucky enough to be fucked by him.

"We can do anything you want baby." I said, crooning in his ear.

He moved back into the couch and I moved back to allow a small space between us. He stuck out his hand and introduced himself. "I'm Edward." He said as I shook it. He paused waiting. "And you are?"

"Roxy."

"And your real name?"

"Roxy." He grinned knowing that this information was not going to be something way going to be privy to.

"Well, it's nice to meet you, 'Roxy.'"

"So is there anything I can do for you tonight, Edward?"

"Well, I don't do...this very often, so maybe we could chat for a while. See, my brother kind of dragged me here." Well, that explained the look of boredom earlier. "You see, I recently broke up with my girlfriend."

Oh shit, run! He was looking for a G.F.E., a girlfriend experience. That is something I never did, it got messy. Feelings and shit would get involved and fuck everything up.

But I couldn't move. I couldn't make myself get up.

"Sure, baby. Whatever you want." I said groaning internally at my own stupidity.

I listened as he told me her was a doctor doing his residency at a local hospital. I was only half listening. I was cuddled up against him on the couch and he smelled so good. He was a hot, rich, doctor that could make me wet by saying nothing, by doing nothing. One look, one smile, was all it took.

He was staring at my next and I smiled at him. He moved close to me and gestured to me next. "Is it okay if I…?"

Finally! "Of course baby, I'd like that." I said cocking my head to allow him access.

He leaned in close and planted a closed mouth kiss at the spot between my neck and my shoulder. Fiery shivers shot though my body and I tried to control lit, so he wouldn't notice. But, of course, he did and I felt his mouth open and his tongue dart out, licking slowly. He trailed kisses and licks up my neck to my jaw bone. It was slow, almost painful and my hand shot to his hair as he reached my chin and nibbled slightly. I grabbed him close to me and flung myself on top of him, straddling him.

I started grinding back and forth onto his cock and he groaned. It was a magnetic sound that drew me closer to him. It was deep, animalistic and full of need.

He reached up and tried to kiss my lips and I pulled him closer to me and I sucked on his neck. He pulled back and tried to kiss me again, but I pulled back, arching my back pushing my tits into his face.

He freed one hand and reached it up to touch them, he paused and I groaned waiting to feel his touch. "Is it okay…" he began to ask.

"Anything you want to do is okay." I said taking the hand hovering in the air and placed in roughly on my breast.

He gasped and grasped tightly, pushing me harder onto his cock, making me wish he was inside me already. He was kneading, grasping, and licking the top of my cleavage spilling out above my black lacy bra. I could feel the heat starting to build between my legs. "You make me so wet." I whispered out, leaving it hanging in the air.

He smiled and took his hand from my breast and reached for the back of my head, knotting his hand in my hair and pulling my face closer to him. He was trying to kiss me again and I turned away, lunging myself at his neck again.

He put his hands on my hips and stilled me again. He was strong and it turned me on more.

"Why won't you kiss me?" He asked.

"It's nothing personal. I just...I just don't kiss…ever."

"What? You don't kiss? Like anyone?"

"Nope, no kissing. But, I do plenty of other things though." I said, sliding to the floor, my hand on his belt buckle. I got the buckle undone before his hands stopped me.

I was getting frustrated now and tried not to show it. Who the hells was this guy? Fucking girlfriend experiences.

"Oh, hon, my mouth is much better suited for other tasks." My hands grasped at his throbbing cock through his khakis. He grabbed my wrist, holding it roughly.

"I said, I want a kiss." He said, not harsh, not forceful, but pleasantly and that scared me more than if he growled it. A memory flashed in my mind and I had to get out of there.

I broke his grasp and stumbled to my feet and towards the door, opening it so hard it hit the wall.

"Wait! I'm sorry." I heard him call after me but I was already stumbling down the hall toward my manager's office.

I burst in telling him was leaving because of "lady problems." He never wanted to deal with "lady problems" so it was a quick and easy out. He had Lauren cover for me.

I ran to my dressing room and hastily grabbed up all my clothes, changing into my jeans. I slung the bag over my shoulder and stumbled out the door. Mike was still there and saw me distressed.

"Bella?" You okay?"

"Fine. Thanks." As soon as I got home, I'd be fine…eventually.

"Need me to walk you to your car?"

"No, I'm good. Thanks. See you tomorrow."

I threw my shit in the back seat, got in and started it. I raced home before the memories and the pain started flooding back. Before I had to relive my every nightmare, again.


	3. Chapter 3 Pain and Nightmares

I don't Own any of these characters!!!

**Ok, this is my nod to Kristen. Who was not only great in Twilight, but in every other movie she's been in... In case you haven't seen her in anything else, check out SPEAK, IN THE LAND OF WOMEN, INTO THE WILD, THE MESSANGERS, UNDERTOW, and The Cake Eaters which is released to DVD on March 24th. **

**So this story is fowl and dirty and gritty. It does include some rape, but it is a back story, I will let you know when that scene comes up and you can choose to skip it if you wish. I will be doing a playlist for every chapter, some will have more songs than others, this is a club after all! Please enjoy and let me know what you think...This chapter is short, it's just to get you into it, and don't worry Edward will be here soon.**

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THIS IS YOUR WARNING : IT IS BELLA'S BACKSTORY....I don't think it's graphic or anything, but some might disagree....

**PLAYLIST:**

**Three Days Grace - Pain**

**Skillet - Whispers in the Dark**

**Kelly Clarkson - Addicted**

**ACDC - Pour Some Sugar on me  
**

Chapter 3 – Pain and Nightmares

I flew the car into the driveway much faster than was necessary. I could feel it coming. I could feel the tears. I could feel the burning and tightening in my chest. The pain was coming and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

I shoved the gear shifter into park and switched it off, yanking my keys from the ignition, fumbling with the door handle, not even bothering to lock the door or grab my shit in the back. I'd do it later, but now, now I had to get inside.

I shot myself up the steps and shoved my keys at the lock, jamming them repeatedly. It wouldn't go in and I was getting fucking frustrated. The sobs were coming and I couldn't hold them off much longer. I hit the door in frustration, swearing at it. Finally, the door opened and I flung myself in, slamming the door and promptly leaning against it, sliding down. Hard and furious the painful sobs escaped and the sound was deafening and there was no way I could control them

Here came the flashed as I closed my eyes and allowed them to take over.

_My mother at my fifth birthday party as a scary clown tried to coax me out from behind her legs._

_My first time riding a bike with no training wheels, my mother with her camera in hand, squealing with excitement and pride, that is until I fell off and broke my arm and had to stay in the hospital. Even then my mom was trying to make me laugh and I did._

_At the pet store when I finally wore her down and I got my first goldfish._

Every Happy Birthday. Every Merry Christmas. Every other holiday in between, proceeded to assault my mind. Every single happy memory I had with her up until I was fourteen and it all came crashing down.

It was these memories that hurt the most because they were over and I'd never get them back. These ones were the pain. I could see her face so clearly in my mind. I wished I could cling to this face, the loving happy one instead of the one I knew would soon follow.

The next memories were coming now. I called them the nightmares. I would never wake up from these and they would always haunt me.

_He grabbed my wrist. We were standing in my bedroom. He smelled like beer, as usual. "Where are you going?" He demanded. "I said, I want a kiss." He asked as I tried to push past. I gave him a quick peck on the cheek, hoping it would placate him a little longer. It didn't._

"_I want a real kiss." He crooned, not scary, but sickly sweet. He grabbed me by my hair, still holding onto my wrist roughly. He slammed his lips to mine, painfully, assaulting my mouth with his tongue._

_He forced me backwards towards my bed, pushing me down. I knew what he was going to do and I fought to stay upright, to get away._

_"Shh, you know you want it. Just relax."_

_I felt his hands all over me and I couldn't stop him. I was frozen. My "no's" and "please don'ts" had never worked when he was touching me or kissing me, why should they work now?_

_I just lay there on my bed waiting for it to be over. The pain was unimaginable. His kisses were all over and slobbery and disgusting. I just wanted to throw up._

_He finished and got up. He told me it was our secret, that if I told anyone no one would believe me._

My sobs brought me back to the here and now and I prayed I could escape having to see her face. Just let this be it for now. Let it end here for once. But, of course it didn't.

My mothers face fought its way into my head. It was no longer happy and loving. No, it was filled with hurt and anger and hate.

Then it was her words. Those words were the ones I wanted to forget the most and the ones that were burned into my memory forever

_"How could you? Get out! I never want to see you again. Just get out!" She screamed at me before slamming the door in my face._

My sobs over took me and I collapsed into a ball on the floor, hugging my knees to my chest. I let the pain have me and I didn't think anymore after that,

I don't know how long I laid there on the floor. The pain had me and I must have passed out sometime from sheer exhaustion.

My eyes were tired and sore. My throat was raspy and raw. I pulled myself up off the floor and forced myself to put one foot in front of the other as I climbed the stairs. I stripped of my clothes and put the shower as hot as I could get it.

I stepped under the spray washing it all away. The pain, the shame, the hurt and the greatest betrayal anyone could ever face. I washed it all away. I just wanted to be whole, to be like I was before we even met him.

Trying to force myself to think of something, anything, else, I thought of the beautiful stranger, the green eyed Edward from last night. I felt a stab of pain knowing that I could never be normal. I was broken. I could never be the perfect girlfriend. I wanted to be able to kiss him, to feel his soft lips on mine, caressing me slowly, gently. But, it would never happen and there was no point in thinking about it. I'd never even see him again.

I hoped to God I wouldn't be in trouble when I returned to work tonight. I needed this job. The last thing I needed was to get fired.

When the hot water had finally started to run out I shut it off, stepped out and dried off. I threw on a tank top and a pair of baby pink velour track pants and found my purse at the door. I checked for messages. None from the club, thankfully, but there was a text from Rosalie.

Hey! Where r u? Hope u r ok. Msg me. 3 Rose

Fine. C u 2night.

I texted back, flipping my phone shit and remembering my shit in the car. Shit, I hoped everything was still fucking there. I threw the door open and ran down the steps to my car. At least God was being merciful with this one thing; everything was fine and still there.

I bustled around my house for the day, trying to improve my even worse mood then usual. I threw on loud music and tried to drown out my thoughts.

Edward popped into my mind when I did dished. He appeared when I did laundry. He crept up as I made my bed. I was starting to get frustrated when I was packing more underwear in my big black duffle back as I was getting ready for work, when he made another appearance.

"Forget him!" I yelled. "He's gone!" Back to the old and the ugly. Back to no feelings, just they way I liked it. I didn't want him if this was what he was going to do to me.

I threw my shit in the car and started to drive, enjoying from nice ACDC on my radio.

Mike was there again at the back of the club. Just like last night, I pulled out another smoke, light it and took a long, slow drag, letting it fill my lungs and play with my head. Leaning against my car door I watched as Mike strood over to me, looking concerned.

"Hey's Bells. You feeling alright?"

"Yea Mike. I'm fine. Bad night, you know, sob stories and shit. It's all good."

He was right behind me as I walked to the door. "And stop staring at my fucking ass, alright?"

"But it's such a great fucking ass." He said slapping it playfully.

"Well you'll never get it. So you can keep dreaming."

"Come on, Bells. I bet I'm better than those guys you fuck in there."

"Probably. But, you're in the friend zone now, bitch. You missed your window." I said walking through the door her held open for me.

"Shit. I'm a fucking idiot." I heard him moan behind me. I threw him a backward glance and a sexy wave and he groaned. Good ole Mike, I liked flirting with him. Mostly, because I knew I drove him crazy and we both knew he'd never have me.

I looked at my name on the boards and it was blank. Shit, that was a bad sign. I walked straight to the manager's office wondering what the fuck I was in for when I got there. The words "You're fired", resonated in my mind and I was almost sick.

I knocked and entered. "Hey James." I said seeing him behind his cluttered desk. "I noticed I'm not one the schedule for tonight. Is everything okay" I asked feeling my throat go suddenly dry.

"Bella! Just the girl I've been waiting for! Everything is great! You have been requested for a private night."

"Oh, okay. How long?" This still didn't explain why my name didn't have any stage time at all. I didn't feel like sucking a while bunch of different cocks tonight.

"The whole night, 9-2, full five hours." He said with a grin. "He's paid a lot of money for you. You'd better be fucking awesome tonight." He said coming over to me, running his fingers slowly down my bare arm and my skin crawled. I hated when he touched me. He was one of those creepy guys I tended to try and avoid. "You better look utterly fuckible. He gets what he wants, anything he wants. Ten thousand fucking dollars for five hours of your time. You fucking understand me? Whatever he wants. Got it?

Holy shit! Ten thousand fucking dollars! For me! For five hours! I raised my eyes in surprise, and was suddenly uncomfortable.

"Did he ask for anything specific?" I asked worried what ten thousand bucks would end up costing me in return. I suddenly hoped it didn't involve any S&M crap, with, like, whips and chains and shit. I'd be okay if I was the Dom but I really fucking hated being the sub.

"Nope, nothing. Just wanted you. Ten thousand bucks from the start to the end of your shift."

"Okay. I guess I'd better go get ready then." I said wishing I had something more to go on then that. How the hell was I supposed to prepare, know what to wear for him if I had no idea what he wanted.

I made my way to the dressing room and Rose was sitting there, naked again. God, what did she have against clothes anyway?

She jumped out of her chair when I entered the room and thrust my black corset with baby blue ribbon accents at me, along with the matching g-string and black silk stalkings.

"You _have_ to wear this for your private tonight! You are such a fucking lucky ass bitch!"

"Yeah, wait to see how lucky I am. He could be ninety or a total perv." I said taking my outfit from her and walking to my chair.

"Yeah, but that's a shit load of money!" I whipped around and feigned shock.

"Rose! Potty mouth!" I gasped knowing of her distain for swear words. She just waved me off.

"So, what happened to you yesterday? You totally disappeared." She asked as she got herself ready.

"Nothing. I just had something to take care of." I lied trying to change the subject quickly. "So you were with that big guy last night, everything go okay?" I knew I could get the topic off my whereabouts if we could just start talking about her for a while.

"Oh. My. God! It was…amazing! He really knows how to fuck and he's HUGE! Not to mention he tips awesome!" I got ready and only half listened, only enough to not get myself into trouble.

"I gotta go. Good luck tonight." She said as she exited the room. It was almost nine o'clock; he should be here any minute, unless he wanted to check out a few of the shows first.

I crossed the room to the full length mirror, appraising myself, hoping I looked "utterly fuckible".

My dark hair cascaded long and wavy down my back. My eyes looked big and bright under the black eye shadow and mascara. My lips were pink and glistening. The sparkles at the corners of my eyes shimmered in the light. My eyes traveled down to my cleavage which was pushed up and together, my waist was clenched in and my hips jutted out slightly, all thanks to the corset. The attached garter belt and stalkings completed the image. I turned seeing the small string of my g-string slipping into my ass crack, leaving my cheeks bare.

Well, I'd do me, I thought, slipping on a pair of stiletto ankle boots.

I paced a little while before a waitress came in to tell me my client was here. She walked me to the room and wished me luck.

I took a deep breath and fluffed my hair. I put my hand on the door knob and opened the door, putting on my sexiest smile. I didn't take my eyes from the door as I entered, closing it behind me. "Hi, baby. I'm-" I started before the familiar voice made me freeze.

"Roxy, I know." He smirked. I gasped and turned to the green eyed God staring at me. I reached for the door handle instinctively before he called out to me.

"No, wait, Bella, I'm sorry, please. Please just give me a minute, then you can go, if you want."

I jerked my head to him staring in disbelief. "What did you call me?" I asked incredulous.

"Bella, that's your name, isn't it?" He asked with a cautious smile.

"How the hell do you know my name?" I asked, the terror of the situation building in me. I had been careless and now this stranger knew who I was.

"I heard that bouncer call you when you were on your way to your car."

"You…you followed me?" My worst…ok, second worst nightmares were coming true. He could be some psycho stalker for all I knew.

"Don't worry, I'm not a psycho stalker. I was on my way to my car. I didn't follow you, I promise." He said and it was so sincere I had to believe him.

"What…what're you doing here?" I asked.

"I wanted to apologize, for last night, you know, for all of it. I didn't mean to frighten you, or hurt you. I'm just…I'm sorry and I wanted you to know."

"You paid ten thousand dollars to say a five hour apology?"

"Well I hoped you would forgive me and maybe not be so eager to leave." He said honestly. "I'm not expecting anything. But I do have to tell you, you look beautiful." Absolutely breath taking."

"Thank you." I said, unconsciously wrapping my arms around myself, feeling suddenly very exposed. "And I can't leave anyway."

"Why is that?"

"Because you paid for me. If I walk out of here, I'll get fired."

"Would that be such a bad thing."

"I need this job."

"Bella, you can leave here anytime you want. I'm not keeping you here. If you want to go, that's fine. I won't tell. I got what I came for."

I turned to the door and reached for the handle. I sighed knowing that I couldn't walk out. I didn't want to. I wanted to stay here with him. I let my hand drop from the door handle and glanced at him. He looked hopeful and I decided there was no way I was going anywhere. Maybe this time could be different.

"Well Edward," I said, sauntering over to him slowly, my hips swaying seductively. "Maybe there is something I can do for you tonight." I reached to him and spread my hands on his sculpted chest.

He gulped and his breaths quickened as my fingers slowly undid all of the buttons on his black dress shirt. My fingers pushed the material to the side and I gasped remembering his rock hard abs. So beautiful. I bit my bottom lip as I traced the abs before me, feather light my touches made him sigh and his breathes deepened. My fingers ran up his body, up his shoulders and grabbed his hair pulling him backwards giving me access to his next. I trailed soft kisses up and down his neck, his shoulder, his collar bone; biting and licking and sucking in between. He grabbed my wait and pushed me into him making us both gasp and groan together.

I felt him hard and solid against me. "Does that mean you are enjoying me, Edward?" I purred.

"Shit, yes." He groaned pulling me impossibly closer as I bit him particularly hard.

My fingers reluctantly left his hair and traced his muscled arms reaching his hands and then his hips. My fingers grasped at his belt buckle, removing it quickly and throwing it to the floor. "Step out." I ordered. He kicked off his pants and I ran my fingers down his hips, around to his ass.

I grabbed his firm, toned ass and lowered myself down his body. My face was right in front of his hidden throbbing cock and I needed to feel it, see it, taste it. It was straining against the material of his boxer briefs and I just couldn't wait anymore.

My fingers ran from his ass around to his front. I let them trail to his thighs as I licked and kissed his treasure line down to my reward. I stuck my index fingers in the waistband of his underwear and started to pull. I didn't get very far before his strong hands grabbed my arms and pulled me up to him, staring his beautiful intense green eyes into mine.

"I'm sorry, was I not doing something right?" I asked confused and a little pissed off. I was so close and he pulled me away, again.

His breaths were deep and fast. "No it was perfect. Please, Bella. Please, just kiss me, just this once?" He begged and I wrenched away from him, throwing myself as far against the other wall as I could get.

"Fuck, Edward. I told you." I shouted, trying to control the growing pain in my chest.

"I know, you don't kiss. But please, please Bella. I just – please Bella."

"What the fuck do you want from me Edward?" I said, tears of rage filling my eyes.

"Well, I want a kiss. But, barring that, I want an explanation. " He said trying to lighten the mood, seeing my distress.

"You want an explanation? You want to know, do you?" I seethed and he nodded. I think that's when he realized I didn't have some idealized vision of Julia Roberts in "Pretty Woman" going on. He was genuinely concerned and for some reason it made me madder.

"Fine! Fine! You want to hear about the two years of shit I had to go through? You want to hear of every time my step father put his hands on me, asking for kisses? How about all the times he fucked me and made me kiss him? Is that what you want to hear? What about every time he made me suck his cock and then kiss him? How about the time he was kissing me, undressing me and my mother walked in and blamed me, then threw me out of her house because I was the whore who fucked her husband? Is that it, Edward? Is that what you wanted to know?" My words were sharp and fast and hysterical.

I let my knees give out but before I could hit the ground Edward was there and he caught me and pulled me to him.

"Shh, Bella. I'm so sorry. You're okay. Just let it out." He chanted over and over again as I sobbed and choked into his shoulder. He just held me. I don't know how long we stayed like that, but it was a long time. He just stood there stroking my hair and my cheeks and just fucking holding me.

When I finally composed myself I realized what I'd done. I'd never told anyone and now I was telling this gorgeous stranger, a customer who had paid a lot of money for me and I was falling to pieces. I gasped and pushed him away.

"I'm, I'm sorry." I whispered. I immediately changed, allowing Roxy to take over. "You paid a lot for me. Let me give you what you paid for." I lunged for him but he caught my wrists and held tightly.

"No, Bella. I'm getting what I paid for. I'm getting you. Please, please just tell me what happened to you."

"You already know. This isn't much else to tell."

"Your mother, she didn't know what was happening to you?" He looked into my eyes and he seemed to be staring into my soul, begging for me to just talk to him, to open myself to him. For whatever reason, I did.

"I don't know. She taught in a high school. She stayed late to tutor kids. Phil was a minor leaguer baseball player, but he got hurt so he was home all the time."

"And it last two years? You never told anyone?"

"He told me no one would ever believe me. And when she found out, she didn't."

"What did she do when she caught him?"

"She asked him what was going on. He told her it was me, I came onto him and he just couldn't help himself. He tried to hold me off, but he had a moment of weakness. He said I had pursued him the entire time. I tried…I tried to tell her. I tried, but she didn't believe me. She hit me and threw me out. She said she never wanted to see me again."

"What did you do after that? He asked, still holding my gaze.

"I left. I moved around, from city to city, sleeping in shelters or parks or anything really. I met a girl on the street and she told me about club she worked in when she needed extra money. I started working there too. Eventually I got tired and moved on. Place after place, town after town. I'd just work in different clubs, making enough to eat. Then I ended up here. It's the best ones I've worked in, much cleaner, safer. So, I just stayed."

We stood for a while and he stroked my hair before moving us to the couch. He pulled me close and allowed me to put my head on his shoulder.

"Why do you do this, Bella? You are so much more than this." He said bringing his hand to stroke my cheek. It felt nice, safe, something I've never felt before.

I shrugged against his shoulder. "It's the only thing I know. I've been doing it since I was sixteen. And, I'm good at it, aren't I?" I asked innocently putting a hand on his still bare thigh, realizing he was still in just his underwear.

"Oh, god, Edward! I'm sorry! I can still dance for you, if you want. I mean if you still want me. I know that having a whore crying on your shoulder all night doesn't constitute a good night. Please, let me do something, anything foe you."

"First, don't call yourself that, ever. Second, do you mean that?"

"Yes, of course."

"Don't freak out, but really all I want is to kiss you. Just one quick peck. Nothing scary or intimidating or rough. Just one innocent peck." He looked so honest and sincere and I knew he wouldn't hurt me. Then another thing started to stir in my stomach. I had never done this before, I had never kissed back.

"Edward…I just…I can't. I've never just kissed anyone before. All of the kisses I've had have been taken from me. I don't know how to kiss back." I said embarrassed by my own admission, I was twenty-four years old and I'd never been probably kissed, that was pathetic.

"That's not true. You kissed that girl." He pointed out.

"That's different. She's Rose. She's my friend…kind of."

"I could be your friend."

"Rose and I kiss for a few seconds on stage. It's non-threatening."

"I could be non-threatening."

"Rose is a girl."

"I could be…wait, okay so I couldn't be a girl, but Bella, I promise, I won't hurt you. I promise."

"I…I…" I had run out of excuses. So all I could do was stare at him silently. "Quick peck. No forcing. We stop when I want."

"Quick peck. Absolutely no forcing. And we will definitely stop when you want. I promise, Bella." He said shifting me so I was sitting beside him, facing each other. "Ready?"

"No." I answered too quickly.

"Bella…" he said rolling his eyes.

"Okay, okay I'm ready." I licked my lips and closed my eyes, squinting as if expecting something horrible.

He sighed at my expression and I felt his soft strong hand snake around the back of my neck. "Relax, Bella." He said and pulled me close to him. My breath accelerated and he stroked my neck gently with his thumb, soothing me. Suddenly his lips were soft and gentle on mine. One quick peck lasted less than a second. He pulled his face away from me and I tried to follow him, wanting more.

"How was that?" He asked.

"Good." I said honestly.

"More?" He asked and I could hear a smirk on his face when he spoke.

"Yes." I breathed.

He leaned in again and his soft lips were back on mine, longer this time, still gentle. He pulled away too soon again.

"And that?" He asked, his voice growing husky.

"Very good."

"Again?"

"Please."

He leaned in once more and it was the same as before, at first. Soon enough I felt his wet, soft tongue flick lightly at my lip. The panic started to rise slowly, but I did my best to push it back down. His tongue flicked at my lips again, asking permission. I fought the internal war within me and won. I slowly, carefully opened my mouth slightly.

I felt his tongue enter my mouth and he was not urgent or forceful. I whimpered quietly into his mouth and felt the corners of it curl up into a smirk, but I didn't care just then. I just enjoyed out tongues dancing together and his sweet taste.

Suddenly I wanted more, I wanted to feel him want me in his kisses. I wrapped my hands in his hair and pulled him closer, rougher into my lips. He groaned and deepened the kiss, urgent now, but still careful, still restrained.

He pulled back and we were both panting a little, more for the need we felt for each other than for the actual act itself.

"Easy Bella. We don't want to overwhelm you."

"No, no, we want to overwhelm me. Keep going." I breathed launching myself at him.

"No, Bella. You've been through a trauma, we need to take it slow."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I growled in frustration.

"If we move too fast you could have another melt down like yesterday. I don't want to ever see you look at me like I'm a monster, not ever again."

"Oh, okay. Sorry." I said because I couldn't think of anything else to say.

We cuddled into the couch and were quiet for a while before I broke the silence." I'm sorry you wasted all that money."

"Best investment I ever made." He said simply. I was going to question him but he continued. "You aren't ready to give this up yet, are you? To give it all up?"

I shook my head. "I'm sorry Edward. I can't. It's all I know. Don't try to save me. I'm stuck here, this is my life."

He placed a kiss on the top of my head and it felt like heaven, just being here with him, just like this in each others arms, it was just… heaven.

"You aren't stuck here and I won't save you, you'll save yourself. And I'll be here everyday for as long as it takes until you're ready. I will never give up on you."

NOTE - Please do let me know what you think! Reviews help me get chapters out faster! Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4 The Ache

I don't Own any of these characters!!!

**a/n Ok, this is my nod to Kristen. Who was not only great in Twilight, but in every other movie she's been in... In case you haven't seen her in anything else, check out S****PEAK, IN THE LAND OF WOMEN, INTO THE WILD, THE MESSANGERS, UNDERTOW****. If you haven't seen it, go see ****ADENTURLAND**** now! Also ****The Cake Eaters**** is also out on DVD. **

**So this story is fowl and dirty and gritty. It does include some rape, but it is a back story, I will let you know when that scene comes up and you can choose to skip it if you wish. I will be doing a playlist for every chapter, some will have more songs than others, this is a club after all! Please enjoy and let me know what you think...**

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**PLAYLIST:**

**Satisfy Yourself – Madonna**

**Get Naked – Britney Spears**

**Decoy – Paramore**

**Please, please me – The Beetle **(bonus points to those who get it's meaning)

**Let The Flames Begin - Paramore**

CHAPTER 4 – The Ache

We stayed curled up on the couch until there was a knock at the door telling us it was after two in the morning. He kissed me softly on my lips and I didn't even flinch. I sat on the couch and watched him dress. I didn't know it could be as sensual watching a man dress as it was to watch them undress.

"See you tomorrow, Bella." He said walking me to the door.

"Wait, what?" I asked stopping with my hands on the door knob.

"I'm going to be here everyday, until you've decided you're done with all of this." He said gesturing around.

"What if that never happens?" I asked, I still wasn't sure if I could ever see a future beyond this place.

"Well, then I guess there's a lot of this place in my future. I told you, Bella, I will never give up on you." He said with another soft, too quick kiss.

"I, I guess I'll see you tomorrow." I said as we walked out the door. He went one was, I went the other.

"Sleep well, Roxy." He said as I walked away from him, at least he knew not to use my real name in public.

I shot him a glance over my shoulder and gave a little nod, biting my lip before I almost walked into the wall. Fuck, that was so not smooth.

All the way home my head swirled and drifted. He wanted me, or he said he did. He paid ten thousand dollars to apologize to me. He had the chance to fuck me, to get what he really paid for, but he didn't take it. He talked to me, he calmed me, he listen to me.

Confusion gripped me. Of course I wanted him and I knew I should give it all up and just be with him. I mean, the life style of a whore isn't exactly conducive to a relationship. But I had a feeling that if I want Edward, this life that I knew would have to end. The thought both thrilled and terrified me. This was all I knew all of my teen and adult years. How do you just walk away from that?

It wasn't that this was the life was what I wanted for myself. I wanted Edward, I wanted us, but I didn't know how to do any of that. What if he hurt me? I was already starting to...care, for him. What if he broke my heart? At least at the club I didn't care for any of them, they were a way to make money, that's it.

I shook my head, trying to get all these thought out. I just wanted to remember Edward and the way he touched me, the way his lips felt on my mouth. That was all I wanted to think about right now.

I got home and jumped into the shower, thinking about him. I dried off, thinking of him. I got into bed, thinking of him. And when I finally drifted off to sleep, I dreamt of him.

It was early in the morning when I awoke from my uneasy sleep. I felt a dull ache between my legs and a slippery wetness. I knew if I wanted to get any good sleep at all, I would have to take care of myself.

I reached into my nightstand table, feeling around for the perfect one. I pulled out my Eclipse 9950. Long, thick, red with silver metal beads and a hummingbird on the front.

I lay there alone in my bed, thinking of him, his eyes, his lips, his hands, his tongue. I thought of his tongue as the hummingbird worked its magic on the perfect spot. My body writhed all over the bed with pleasure and anticipation. I could almost hear his ragged breaths in my ears as my pleasure started to build. I clung to his velvet voice telling me he'd never give up on me. I clung to the hope that he was true to his word, to the hope that we could be together. I saw his eyes staring at me in my mind. His salutary piercing green eyes. "_I'll never give up on you, Bella_" repeated over and over in my mind and it was all I needed to send me over the edge as I came hard and fast, riding out the waves of pleasure.

I drifted off to sleep with my trusty vibrator lying beside me and dreams of Edward flooded my mind once again.

I awoke Monday morning later than I had anticipated, thanks to my incredible sleep via my overactive imagination and my new best friend.

I felt an odd sense of calm and peace that I had never felt before. I had no idea where it came from or when it started but I felt at ease and just not so pissed at, well, everything.

I did my household chores and tried not to think about work. I knew Edward said he'd be there and he'd wait for me to be ready. But, what if it became too much for him and he just couldn't do it?

I pushed the thought out of my mind and picked up my old weathered copy of Withering Heights. It was one of the only things I was able to take with me when my mother had, well, asked me to leave.

I curled up intending to read only a chapter or two but ended up reading the whole thing. I realized only then how late it was, I had to scramble to get ready for work.

Mondays were always brutal; it was wet t-shirt night, as well as amateur night. That meant we weren't on stage hardly at all, which meant we had to make out money other ways. I secretly hoped Edward wouldn't show up. He would surely see me taking guys to the back room and suspect what we were doing back there. Maybe he would give up on me then, maybe he would finally see. And, maybe it was for the best, but it still pulled at my insides and made me feel sick.

I grabbed my white t-shirt and a pair of shorts and stuffed them roughly into my bag, refusing to think of what might happen. What would happen was going to happen and I couldn't change it.

I got to the club to find Mike by the door again. "Hey, Bella. Ready for the wet t-shirt?"

"Oh yea, baby." I said sarcastically as I walked up to him, stole his cigarette and took a long, slow drag before handing the butt back to him. "Thanks, big boy." I purred running my hand over his chest and down his arm. He groaned as he held the door for me.

"Hey, Bells?"

"Yea, Mike?" I said stopping to look over my shoulder at him.

"Any chance we're out of that pesky friend zone?"

"Nope." I answered smiling wickedly before turning away to walk to the dressing room.

Rose was there as usual in her white spaghetti string top and daisy duke style shorts.

"Bella!" She squealed as I walked in. "I'm so excited for tomorrow!" She seemed to be even more excited than the time I asked her.

"Have you been hanging out with Alice again?" I asked rolling my eyes when my back was to her.

"Yup, why?"

"No reason."

"Guess what?"

I sighed know that a guess what from Rose was never a good thing. "What?"

"Alice is going to come with us tomorrow! Isn't that so exciting?"

I groaned internally, now I'd have to deal with the two of them all day and it was bad enough to be with Rose. That's karma though. I was greedy and tried to fuck with the universe, so the universe laughed and fucked me as pay back.

"Oh! That's great!" I managed with forced enthusiasm.

"We're gonna have so much fun!" She squealed and clapped. She looked me up and down. "You better get ready, you're on right after me and I'm on in, like, ten minutes."

Fuck, quick job tonight. I grabbed a red g-string and my black micro-mini shorts, throwing them on quickly making sure the red straps on my g-string where showing. Why did guys like that anyway? I grabbed my cropped white t-shirt which had "I Love to Rock" on it in black and red lettering. It had a deep rip down the front which showed a nice bit of cleavage. I did my make up in the same smokey fashion and grabbed my black lace up stilettos which I had modified with extra tread. Slipping and falling on a wet stage always sucked.

I listened as Rose droned on and on about tomorrow's events and tried to conceal my horror at all the female bonding crap she had planned and almost regretted bringing it up a few days ago.

She, thankfully, realized the time and ran out of the room so I could have a few minutes to think of Edward before heading out myself. I clung to his smile knowing it could get me through all the crap I'd have to go through in order to earn a few bucks.

Tonight was only to show off the merchandise, give guys an alternative to the amateurs on stage.

I headed to the curtain watching Rose being sprayed down by the guy from the first night, Edward's brother. He looked simply gleeful as Rose was shaking her giant tits under her wet shirt.

My heart leapt and my stomach plummeted as I realized Edward must be here. He was here which made me ecstatic, but he was going to see me with clients. The realization of what I am would finally set in, this would be the end. The end, before it ever really began.

Rose's song ended and it was time for me.

"Ladies and Gentleman, please welcome to the Stage, Rainne."

I sauntered my way over to the stage not listening to the DJ asking for volunteers to hose me down, but scanning for Edward, my eyes didn't have to travel far. He was on the other side of the stage, watching me with a tight smile. He was trying to encourage me, but he wasn't happy about it, at all. I smiled and winked and only noticed the hulking man standing in front of me with the hose when my music "Get Naked" By Britney Spears started.

The guy was easily the biggest guy I've ever seen and I almost hated to get near him. He was tall, like almost seven feet, very muscular and of Native American decent. I'd never seen a guy as big as him. If he didn't have the biggest smile on his face I probably would have been scared of him, except for he looked like a big, goofy dog.

I smiled and stepped toward him slowly. The hose had been modified so its spray didn't reach very far.

He turned the hose on and started to spray my legs and I thanked God that us dancers had risen up and demanded that it be warm water, rather than the fucking freezing shit of the past.

As he ran the water up my body he soaked my black shorts and making his way up to my white shirt, making it stick to me, showing my every curve. I turned slowly in a circle, swaying my hips. When my back was to him the hose reached my hair and it got drenched. I bent in half and touched the floor, making my ass rise in the air. I trailed my fingers up my slick, soft legs, up to my hips, caressing my waist. I flipped my hair so water flung every where. Hair was sticking to my face (thank God for Water proof mascara). Revolving in my circle, rolling my hips my eyes locked with Edward's as a hand roamed over my tits while the other hand found my mouth, my tongue playing with one finger, licking and sucking. Edward's cautious smile disappeared and it was replaced with the crooked one I fantasized about so much.

I did a few slow body rocks before I put my heels together and slowly slide down the pole. Opening my legs when I was down as far as I could go without sitting, one finger from each hand slithered their way up the inside of my thighs, reaching my pussy, one hand lingered there while the other found its way up to the slit in my shirt and pulled one edge to the side revealing my tit. I shivered as I stared directly into Edward's eyes and licked my lips, biting the bottom one. How I wished he was the one touching me like this. Our exchange was intense and hotter than I would ever have imagined. What I wouldn't give to know what he was thinking right then.

The song was ending so I placed my hands above my head and grasped the pole, sliding up and doing a quick spin before lowering myself to the ground with my back against it. I did a few hip thrusts in the air before putting myself in the bridge position and flipping myself head over heals so I was standing right as soon as the song ended.

I waved coyly at the big guy who looked pleased, if not a little sad it was over after only four minutes. Ha, I thought. Now he understood what it was like for us girls who get five minutes in bed before it's all over.

I walked off the stage grabbing the huge towel that was set al the bottom of the stairs. I watched the water draining off the stage, when all the dancers where finished the stage would have to be dried off for the amateurs.

I walked quickly, but carefully, back to the dressing room to change and dry off. Rose had a hair dryer out when I got there and smiled at me before rolling her eyes. "You ready for this?" She shouted over the buzzing.

I shrugged and rolled my eyes. Regardless of whether I was ready or not I didn't have much of a choice.

When Rose finished with the dryer she handed it to me so I could start drying my hair.

I grabbed a red strapless micro-mini dress from my locker and threw it on over a red string and a red string bikini top; I touched up my make up and allowed my hair to cascade in waves down my back

I walked to the curtain and as soon as I pulled it that big guy who had hosed me down earlier was waiting there.

He looked at me with that big, goofy looking grin and all I wanted to do was roll my eyes. I just couldn't take a guy whose hair was longer than mine seriously.

"Oh! There you are!" He exclaimed. I put on my biggest, sexiest smile and looked at him from underneath my lashes.

"Hi, baby. Is there anything I can do for you?" I asked, caressing his hard, muscular chest, pressing myself into him.

I noticed Edward out of the corner of my eye, he scowled and his eyes never left me before I had to return my attention to the guy in front of me.

"Oh, well, yea. I was hoping for a dance?" He asked, almost shy.

"Of course, baby. Follow me." I said taking his hand and leading him behind the curtain. I kept my gaze straight ahead, knowing I couldn't bear to look at Edward considering what I was about to do and I hoped a dance was really all this guy wanted from me.

I led him to room, opened the door and gestured for him to enter. I walked to the phone in the corner and asked if he wanted a drink, when he declined I called to check in.

"So, you want a dance then?" I asked when I was finished.

"Actually, I was talking with James earlier..." He started. I knew what that meant, it was our code word. Only regulars and VIPs would know it. He didn't just want a dance. Well, it could be worse.

Opening the drawer I fished around; grape, watermelon, pina coloda...Why were there never any fucking strawberry flavored condoms when you needed them? Oh well, chocolate would do. I grabbed it and walked over to him slowly, swaying my hips as I went, my eyes never leaving him.

"Is that really necessary?" He asked staring at the condom as I set it on the table beside the couch.

"With me it is. You understand."

"Sure, sure." He said sounding disappointed.

"I can always get someone else for you, if you'd prefer." I offered, hoping he'd take the out so I wouldn't have to go through with this.

"No, no it all a good. I want you." He said his eyes looking me up and down appraisingly.

"Alright, baby." I smiled and looked at the side table expectantly.

He got my glance and reached into his pocket, grabbing a wad full of twenties. "Right, right, sorry." He placed the folded stack next to the condom.

"That's okay, babe." I stood in front of him, waiting for the next song to start. Paramore's "Decoy" came blasting and I had no idea how the fuck to dance to it. Must be something an amateur picked. Great, that left less time for dancing and more for actions and I hoped he would cum quick.

I shimmied and shook my hips, raising my hands slowly up my body and knotting them in my hair.

I stomped and swayed to the beat and made my way over to him, turning around to face the wall. I shook my ass before lowering myself onto him. He was already hard underneath me as I pressed my back into him, putting my head on his shoulder and turning my head to lick his neck as I grinded my ass into his crotch. His hands shot to the outside of my thighs pressing me hard into him as he let out a low, deep animalistic growl. Knowing the time when I could begin was near, which meant the end wasn't too far off from that, I bent myself in half and placed my hands on my ankles and grinded harder and faster into him. With one last growl from him I slid off of him and grabbed the condom from the table.

I knelt between his opened legs and unzipped him as he slid back in the couch giving me better access. I slid his jeans down off his ass and then his boxers. He was huge, of course, but I just couldn't be impressed. I wished that this was Edward sitting before me.

I unwrapped the condom wrapper and slid it down the length of him. Looking up at him I knew that I couldn't be Bella, I had to be Rainne or Roxy or anyone else, but I could never be Bella, never Bella here.

I licked my lips slowly, allowing whichever imaginary personality to take over. "So big," I murmured appraising him. And he was big and I had no idea how I was supposed to take him all in, he was too big. He smiled his big, goofy smile and I lowered my head, allowing my tongue to taste the fake chocolate, wishing it was strawberry.

I slid my tongue down the length of him before taking him inside my mouth. He let out a growl and a hiss at the same time and threw his head back in pleasure.

And as Rainne or Roxy, or whoever it was I pretended to be, took over I didn't think of Edward once as I licked and sucked and tried not to gag as he grabbed a fistful of hair and shoved himself deeper into my mouth.

It was finally over after his loud bark as he came long and hard. As he cleaned himself up, I felt the pit of my stomach start to knot. I couldn't keep my persona for long and I just wanted him to leave.

"Thanks, that was amazing." He said before leaving me in the room.

I smiled the best I could hoping my alternate personality could hold out just a little longer. "Sure, baby." I said kissing him lightly on the cheek. He opened the door and was escorted back to the main club by a bouncer.

I quickly shut the door, knowing that Bella was emerging and there was no way to stop the real me from coming. I fell to my knees as my stomach twisted and turned and ached.

For the first time I had a real problem with what I, who I was. I started out as a dancer. Just a dancer and now...now I was a whore. I knew I was a whore, but it never bothered me, until now. Until Edward. Before I could allow which ever personality I was playing that night to take over and Bella, the real me would just wait until I was home, to come out, to be me.

What would Edward think? I couldn't face him, I knew he would know and that would be the end. How could he possibly want to save me when this was what I was? How could anyone ever want me for anything more than this?

It was then that I decided. I shakily picked myself up off the floor and dried the tears that I didn't even realize had fallen. I wrenched the door open and stormed to James's office and threw the door open.

"Ahh, Bella. There you are."

"James, I'm a dancer. I'm not going to do any more fucking of any kind anymore. I'm done being a whore. I want more stage time."

He looked at me with a furrowed brow. Shit, was I about to loose my job?

"Fine." He said. Just like that, just so simply.

"What?" I asked in confusion.

"I said fine. After tonight you will be on main stage three times a night. You can do lap dances and help tend bar and serve."

"James, that's...Thank you. I won't let you down." I said heading for the door before he could change his mind.

"Hold it." Damn it, not fast enough. "I said, after tonight. You have another high paying customer. Make him happy and you get what you want." I stared at him. "Go, he's waiting for you in room three."

I headed back to the dressing room to touch up my hair and makeup. I took a drink to rid my self of the taste of the chocolate condom. Okay, One more. I could do one more. Rainne could protect me once more if I never had to do it again.

I walked slowly to the third room, pausing, willing Rainne to take care of me. I shook my hair, cracked a smile and opened to door.

I closed it quickly behind me as I entered the room, willing the next few hours to pass quickly as this guy did whatever it was he wanted to do to me, or me to him.

My smile fell as I saw Edward staring me, his green eyes broken and full of pain.

"Edward, what? What are you doing?" I stammered not really sure which words I wanted to use. I could feel that ache of pain starting in my stomach again, Rainne had left me and I was Bella and there would be no protection from what was to come.

"Bella, I couldn't. It was...horrible, watching you tonight. Watching you bring him with him. Knowing what he wanted from you. I just, I can't watch that. I can't know what you're doing in here, with them. If I have to pay thousands of dollars a day so you won't have to..."

"Edward you can't do this." I said shocked and hurt and feeling more like a whore than I ever had. This hurt me more than any of them ever had. "You said you were going to help me. You can't buy me, you can't keep paying for me. Do you know how you make me feel when you do this?"

He shook his head. The pain still burning in his eyes.

"I know I'm a whore Edward. But I just...I'm not your whore. I don't want to be your whore."

"Bu, I'm not...we're not... that's not why I did it." He stammered looking like I had slapped him.

"No Edward, you don' fuck me. You buy me, you buy my time. Don't you see? You are the one person I thought I could be with would wouldn't treat me like a whore."

The tears spilled from my eyes and he was at me in an instant, holding me wiping them away." I'm sorry, Bella. I'm sorry. I never meant to make you feel that way."

He held me a while before we somehow ended cuddled up on the couch. The ache in my stomach was still there and I needed to tell him, to explain, to apologize.

"Edward, I'm sorry for tonight. I'm sorry you saw me with him. But please, please know that it's never the same as it is when I'm with you. I'm me with you, when I'm with them I'm someone else."

"I knew it was going to be difficult, but I didn't know just how much."

"Look, Edward, my manager is going to talk to you at the end of my shift. He says if you're pleased with me then he'll make me a dancer only, so I can stop all the other stuff."

I explained as I cozied into his shoulder. "Well that's...something. But, Bella, are you sure that this is what you want? I mean, could you just quit? Be done with this, all of it?"

I shook my head. "I'm not ready. I need this job. It's all I know how to do. Please, Edward, please don't push."

He sighed, resigned. "Fine, but I know you will be someday. I just hope it's sooner rather than later."

Something occurred to me and I shot up from my comfortable position. He looked startled and confused at my sudden actions. "What's wrong Bella?" He asked searching my eyes for some kind of explanation.

"You! You're still here!"

He looked even more confused. "Yes, I'm still here. Is that a problem?" He asked, his brow furrowed tightly together.

"No, no, I mean you're here. You saw me, you know, I mean you really know and you're still here. You didn't run away!" A light, buoyant feeling came over me as I realized he wasn't going to leave.

"I told you Bella. I'm here. I'm never going to give up on you, on getting you out of here."

He held me and stroked my hair. Placing light kisses on me head for a long while.

"So, tomorrow..." He started and I groaned.

"Tomorrow, I am off." Shit, tomorrow was Tuesday, Tuesday was Rose.

"Is there a problem with being off?" He asked and I could almost hear him roll his eyes.

"Not with being off. Just with what I have to do when I'm off." He chuckled as I explained. Motherfucking Tuesday. Shit.


	5. Chapter 5 Motherfucking Tuesday

I don't Own any of these characters!!!

**a/n Ok, this is my nod to Kristen. Who was not only great in Twilight, but in every other movie she's been in... In case you haven't seen her in anything else, check out S****PEAK, IN THE LAND OF WOMEN, INTO THE WILD, THE MESSANGERS, UNDERTOW****. If you haven't seen it, go see ****ADENTURLAND**** now! Also ****The Cake Eaters**** is also out on DVD. **

**So this story is fowl and dirty and gritty. It does include some rape, but it is a back story, I will let you know when that scene comes up and you can choose to skip it if you wish. I will be doing a playlist for every chapter, some will have more songs than others, this is a club after all! Please enjoy and let me know what you think...**

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**PLAYLIST: link on profile...it has been UPDATED with all these songs and others from all other chapters! Check it out!**

**Stare at You – New Kids on the Block**

**Love Bug – Jonas Brothers**

**7 Things I Hate About You – Miley Cyrus**

**Closing Time - Semisonic**

Chapter 5 – Motherfucking Tuesday

I rolled over smiling on Tuesday morning as I remembered Edward and our night spent cuddling on the couch. I could never understand how people just sat...on a couch...doing nothing. But, this was...amazing. He held me tight and close and just talked. He stroked my hair or just simply looked at me. I think I could stare at him forever and not get bored.

When it came time to part ways he handed me a little folded up piece of paper. I opened it to see a phone number scrawled in an incredibly beautiful and flowing script. I looked at him questioningly.

"In case you need a distraction." He answered with his crooked smile.

I had told him all about my relationship with Rose and he seemed to find it very funny. He told me, in turn, about how his brother had fallen hard for her. We both had a chuckle, imagining what it would be like for them to get together.

My cell vibrated somewhere to the right of my and I picked it up.

_**Up and at 'em sunshine. B there in 5.**_ I read Rose's text.

I groaned, thankful I had the foresight to shower last night. I stretched in bed before climbing out and grabbing a pale pink velour track suit that Rose had given me last Christmas. _Might as well go for some bonus points_, I thought and threw my hair up in a loose bun.

I threw a strawberry pop tart in the toaster and grabbed a bottle of water when I heard the car horn honk outside. I grabbed the pop tart and my purse, took a deep breath and prepared myself for a day of hell.

Rose's 1967 cherry red convertible was parked outside my driveway and they already had some sugar sweet pop music playing...at 9am. I hated to open the door and find out what it was, but I did it anyway. Oh Fuck, the Jonas Brothers. Fucking shoot me now.

"Good morning, Bella!" Alice chimed from the front seat. She turned slowly, eyes my pop tart with crinkled eyes. "tsk, tsk Bella. Those things are awful for you! Empty calories and carbs."

"Alice, look at her. She could eat a thousand of those and not gain a pound."

"Yes, but it's poisoning your body. We're dancers; we need to keep our bodies healthy."

I tried to stop a snort, but it escaped anyway.

"What?" Alice asked.

"We're strippers, Alice. We're not exactly prima ballerinas or anything." Whoops, I was supposed to be trying to be good today, not pissing anyone off.

I settled into the back seat hoping that Rose would put the top down soon so I could get even a little respite from the "music" and the two bimbos in the front debating the difference between ballerinas and strippers. I thought the answer was fairly obvious, but whatever.

Suddenly I remembered the little slip on paper that was folded and stuck in my purse. I grabbed my cell and the paper and punched in the number.

_**Think I need saving now – Bella**__. _I texted_. _

I waited, hoping he would answer. Minutes passed before I felt my cell vibrate.

_**Good morning beauty. Saving, already? – Edward.**_

_**Definitely. We r debating differences between ballerinas & strippers – Bella.**_

I put the phone down, expecting him to take a while, he didn't. It was only seconds when he replied again.

_**No offense, but obvious, isn't it? - Edward**_

I smiled knowing that even though we were apart we were still connected.

_**Yes lol. What r u doing? – Bella**_

_**Wishing I was w u. – E**_

I had a total girl moment and sighed, smiling like an idiot.

"Bella, what are you doing back there?" Rose asked, peeking at me in her rear view.

"Uhh, nothing. Just got a text." I didn't want to answer any questions about who the texts were from so I decided to start asking questions. "So, what's up first?"

"Oh! It's going to be so much fun! We'll start at the nail salon, then have a bite for lunch, then head back to my place."

I grimaced at what she might have planned for us when we reached her house, but tried not to think about it.

We were just pulling up to a small salon when I got another text.

_**Where'd u go? Must b enjoying girl time. Haha. – E.**_

_**Shoot me – B. **_I texted back as I walked in watching Rose explain how she wanted acrylics and Alice and I wanted manicures and we all wanted pedicures. They showed us to three chairs with foot baths. As we sat down and waited for them to fill up, I got another text.

_**Enjoy urself. Pamper urself. BTW I miss u – E.**_

My heart fluttered in my chest as I read his words. He missed me. I missed him. Why the fuck was I here? I should be with him.

_**Miss you 2. What r u doing? – B.**_

I waited for his response, ready to jump out of my chair if he said nothing.

_**Working. ER Rotation. – E.**_

Damn. He was busy so I would stay.

_**Sry. Didn't mean 2 bother u. – B.**_

I expected another lengthy wait but felt the vibrate immediately.

_**Never a bother. 3 talking 2 u. – E. **_

Okay, so he was fucking good, a charmer. And it was working. It scared me. I never felt this way for anyone, ever.

I didn't know how to respond, so I didn't. I turned my attention to Rose and Alice who were having a heated discussion on boob jobs. Of course Rose was for, Alice not so much.

"Well, that's because you naturally have something, a lot of something." Rose was saying.

"Rose, you were perfect before. You didn't need anything else." Alice cooed in her sickly sweet voice.

"Aww, that's so sweet!" Rose drawled. "Bella, isn't that sweet?"

I rolled my eyes and played a long. "So sweet." I said trying to keep the sarcasm from seeping in.

I felt my phone vibrate again and quickly checked it.

_**Sry. 2 soon for the 3? – E.**_

I was about to text back when Alice grabbed the phone out of my hand.

"Who are you texting so much? Everyone you talk to is sitting in this room."

"Alice, please just give me back my phone."

She flipped the phone open and started scrolling through my messages.

"Who's E?" She asked, a wicked smile perched on her lips.

"Alice, please." I started, trying to keep the acid out of my voice.

"Edward?" She asked reaching the top of my messages.

"Give me my fucking phone back now, Alice." I said snatching it from her as I splashed the poor woman in front of my in the face.

"Who's Edward?" She asked again.

"Edward, Edward, Edward. Why does that name sound familiar?" Rose asked staring at something far away, but nothing in particular. "I know! He's Emmett's brother, the guy from the club."

"Ohh, Bella! Are you dating him?" Alice squealed in excitement.

"No." I said sharply. I noticed the put out looks on their faces and decided to elaborate. "I'm a stripper. I don't date."

They giggled. "Silly Bella. We're strippers and we date."

"Dancers," Alice corrected. "We're dancers."

I rolled my eyes again. "Wait, what? Who are you dating?" I asked, trying to get the conversation off of me again.

"Emmett, of course." Rose answered matter of factly.

"Emmett's friend Jasper. He was the other one at the club that night."

"You're actually dating them? Don't you feel guilty when you're fucking other guys?"

They looked at each other and then back at me. "No." The answered in unison and I just shook my head.

"You've only known these guys, like not even four days. You met them in a strip club. Isn't that a little fast?"

"No." They both chimed at the same time again.

"Emmett's the best fuck I've ever had. He just knows what I like. And, he _cares_ what I like."

"Yup, same with Jazz." Alice shrugged. "Besides, we aren't the ones texting a really hot guy. You never have relationships with guys out of the club. What's going on?"

I shrugged. I didn't want to get into the whole thing.

"Oh. My. God. You like him! You like him, don't you!"

"Maybe, he's...nice."

"You gonna go out with him?"

"No." I said, then chanced a look at Rose whose eyebrows were raised. "Look, I don't know okay."

"He said he "hearts" talking to you. You should go out with him."

"Again," I said gesturing to myself. "Stripper. I just don't feel comfortable dating someone while I'm taking my clothes off for other men. It's just...it's not right."

"Oh. My. God." Alice said again, he mouth hanging open. "You're thinking of quitting for him, aren't you?"

"No, no" I started before she cut me off.

"Don't do it, Bella. I don't care of hot he is or how good he is in bed. He'll just leave you and then you'll be out of luck. You make good money; don't give it up over a guy."

"I know, Alice. I wasn't planning on it." Of course I knew it. I wasn't stupid, but I let my thoughts get away with me. I would have to slow down and just enjoy what Edward was willing to give me, for however long that was.

I was quiet the rest of the morning at the salon. Rose tried to get me to wear an ungodly color of pink, but I stuck to my guns and went for black.

We were finally done and back in her car deciding where to go for lunch.

"McDonalds." I piped in with my suggestion. I'd been craving burgers for a week.

Alice tsked at me. "Bella, hamburgers are no good for the figure or the complexion. Go to that vegetarian place, Rose."

I grumbled in the back seat. Vegetarian stuff was crap. There was nothing wrong with a nice big steak and baked potatoes with loads of sour cream and butter, my mouth was salivating at the thought.

After reaching the restaurant and perusing the menu I ordered a "garden burger", which kind of creeped me out. I mean, it sounded like you were taking a stroll in a beautiful garden and happened upon a burger that was just laying there. Stupid name for a burger. Thankfully, it came with fries and I found beer on the menu too.

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket again.

_**U mad me? – E.**_

I'd forgotten to message him after Alice had stolen my phone.

_**No sry. Complication. – B. **_

I hadn't even had time to put the phone down when his reply came.

_**Good. Whatcha doing? – E. **_

_**Eating. Garden burger. – B.**_

His reply came as fast as the last one.

_**WTH is a garden burger? Did u find it while on a stroll? It's not nice 2 pick other ppl's flowers...or steal their burgers. – E.**_

I laughed out loud as I responded.

_**IKR? I want MCDs but I got vetoed. – B.**_

"Put that phone down before I take it again." Alice threatened.

_**G2G. Talk l8er. – B.**_

I suffered through lunch, which was bearably only because of the beer I was sucking back.

Finally Rose put the top down on the way back to her house so I was able to get some respite from the Miley Cyrus that was pumping from her speakers.

We got to Rose's house and it was one of the cleanest, well kept places I'd ever been in, if you ignored all of the lingerie strewn neatly all over the place. Why you would need a silky neglishee in the kitchen I never knew. I asked her about it once but all she said was, "You never know when it will be needed." And I wasn't even interested in what kind of situation that would entail, so I didn't probe any further.

Mixes for cosmos and sex on the beaches and other girlie drinks lined the counter and I groaned internally at the though of all the female bonding that was about to begin.

"Please, Bella! Please, it'll be fun! You'll see! You might even like it!"

Alice was standing next to the counter, bouncing up and down. She wanted to give me a, groan, makeover. I finally relented when got too annoying to bear.

I was rifling through the fridge in search of a beer, a lost cause I knew, but I had to try. "No beer?" I grumbed as Alice mixed girlie drinks and Rose put on Dirty Dancing. Fuck me, could it get any worse?

We settled into the couch, me facing Alice so she could do my makeup. Alice didn't need to watch, she knew the words off by heart. She repeated all the words and sang all the songs and I wanted to throw up. My tolerance was waning.

When the "No body puts Baby in a corner" came on they both swooned and I rolled my eyes, at least the movie would soon be over.

It ended; thankfully and I wondered what horrors would be bestowed on me now. Rose left the room with a wistful sign; she always did that when she thought of Patrick Swayze.

"Okay, I'm finished, Bella. You can look now." I looked in the mirror and died a little inside. I looked like a Barbie. She had done my eyes with light pink and purple shadows and white sparkly eyeliner. My cheeks were rosy pink and my lips were shimmery pink.

"You look so pretty! Much more like a girl. You can do it all the time now."

I was about to protest when Rose returned with a small round container. "Ready for step two in Beautification?"

"What is that?" I asked, knowing I didn't want to know the answer.

"Time for waxing."

What. The. Fuck. "Hell, no." was al I managed.

"Come on, Bella..." Rose started but was interrupted by my vibrating phone. I grabbed it and made sure my back was against the wall, a sneak attack from Rose and Alice was not entirely out of the question.

_**I'm bored. What's up w u? – E.**_

_**Need rescue, Now. – B.**_

_**Where r u? Want me 2 come? –E.**_

_**Yes. – B.**_

And with that I sent him the address.

_**B there soon. – E.**_

I smiled. My knight and shining amour was going to rescue me from the horror that was waxing.

"Umm, I gotta go." I said quickly gathering up my things and heading to the door. It was fun to watch their confused faces. "See you tomorrow." I said before slamming the door and running to the curb.

I expected to have a long wait, but Edward seemed to have some kind of super human texting and driving speed because he was there in no time.

I stared at the silver Volvo for a moment before getting in and turning to him. He broke out into a wide smile and tried, unsuccessfully, to stifle a laugh.

"What?" I asked.

"You look very...pretty. Was that part of the torture?" He asked gesturing to my face. Arg, Alice. Stupid Alice and her stupid Barbie Makeup.

"Just shut up and drive." I said settling into the seat.

He started to drive, to where I didn't know and I didn't care. I was with him and that was all that mattered.

We parked at the beach. "I'm sorry." He said, apologizing for his laughing fit earlier. "I brought you something though." He pulled out a brown paper bag from the back seat and I saw those blessed golden arches splayed along it.

"You are an angel!" I said pulling the big mac out of the bag along with the fries.

"I'm not done yet." He said, reaching around to the back of the seat and returned with a Bud.

"Tada." He said flipping the bottle cap off for me.

I grabbed it and chugged. "Oh. My. God. Hamburgers AND beer?" I love him...don't say that...But I do. I love him. He knew me, already he knew me.

"I thought you might need it after your day-o-bonding." He looked at my face again and cracked up. "And apparently I was right."

I slapped his arm before cracking a smile myself.

We sat there for along time. Just talking and laughing. We had comfortable silences as we started out at the waves crashing into the shore. It was getting darker and I wanted to be closer to him.

"Can we...Do you mind if we sit in the back?" I asked, not intending for anything to happen, just wanting nothing in between us.

He smiled, nodded and got out. We settled into the back and I cuddled into his shoulder. He stroked my hair. That peace flooded over me, the same feeling I felt when I woke up yesterday.

I looked at him, watching him watch the waves and he looked so beautiful in the silver moonlight. I cranked my neck so I could lick and suck on his. A soft hiss escaped his lips as I took him by surprise, but he tilted his head to grant me access as his arm tightened around my shoulder.

Taking this as a good sign I positioned myself on top of him, straddling his lap. My lips, my tongue, my teeth never left his neck. He grasped tightly onto my hips and pushed me harder into him, momentarily breaking my grasp on his neck as I threw my head back, gasping in pleasure. He was already rock hard and he felt amazing against me.

I started grinding my hips into him, making us both pant. I arched my back and inadvertently stuck my tits in front of his face.

He groaned staring at my tank top before slowly pulling the fabric away to reveal my white satin bra. He trailed his fingers against the soft material for a long moment.

Hoping to speed the process along I reached between us and started to unbuckle his pants, but his hands wrapped tightly around my wrist to stop me. His lips found mine and gently kissed me.

"Bella, I can't."

"Oh, I think you can." I tried again to reach for his belt but he had a good grip.

"Bella, I can't. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to push you here, but...But I can't do anything with you while you're still working there."

I know it shouldn't, but it felt like a slap in the face. I recoiled from him and my back hit the front seat.

"Oh, yeah, right. Of course." I stammered. Of course he wouldn't want to fuck a whore, he was so much more than that, so much more than me.

He must have seen the shock and hurt betrayed on my face because he reached out a gentle hand and cradled my neck. "It's not that Bella, I can assure you. I just..." He paused, formulating his answer no doubt. "I just can't share you. I want you all for me, only me. I want you Bella, I need you. But, not like this, not now."

His thumb rubbed circles slowly back and forth on my cheek and despite the hurt I was feeling it felt like heaven. He smiled wide and crooked, the way I loved. "But, I can do this." He said pulling me closer to him and locking his lips on mine.

And there we sat in the back of his shiny silver Volvo making out like teenagers. Teenagers who never got past second base and it was driving me crazy.

Stupid sexy shiny Volvo owners and their unbreakable sexual willpower.


	6. Chapter 6 Beginning

I don't Own any of these characters!!!

**a/n Ok, this is my nod to Kristen. Who was not only great in Twilight, but in every other movie she's been in... In case you haven't seen her in anything else, check out SPEAK, IN THE LAND OF WOMEN, INTO THE WILD, THE MESSANGERS, UNDERTOW. If you haven't seen it, go see ADENTURLAND now! Also The Cake Eaters is also out on DVD. **

**So this story is fowl and dirty and gritty. It does include some rape, but it is a back story, I will let you know when that scene comes up and you can choose to skip it if you wish. I will be doing a playlist for every chapter, some will have more songs than others, this is a club after all! Please enjoy and let me know what you think...**

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**PLAYLIST: link on profile...it has been UPDATED with all these songs and others from all other chapters! Check it out!**

**Crush – Jennifer Paige**

**Out of This Club – PCD**

**I'll Be – Edwain Mccain**

**The River Flows in You – Yiruma**

**Bella's Lullaby – Carter Burwell**

a/n - Ok so there was some texting problems in the last chapter. For some reason this program it wont let me make hearts from the greater than symbol and the 3...SO when you saw/see a 3...it is actually meant to be a heart....Thanks and sorry for any confusion!!

Also I do realize this is a short chapter...The good news is that as of Tuesday there is no more SCHOOL lol!

Chapter 6 – Beginning

Edward and I had an incredible night of talking and cuddling and making out. When it got too late, or too early, when the birds started to sing and the sun started to rise, we regretfully decided to go home.

I asked him to drop me off a couple of blocks away from home at a convenience store. I wasn't ready for him to see where I lived. It was a shit hole and he came from much better, much more. I couldn't allow myself to let him in all the way, not yet.

I texted him when I got into the door saying I was safe, like he asked. Then I fell into bed happy and exhausted and full. Full of everything. Full understanding, full of hope, full of what I was sure was the love I felt for him.

The next few days went pretty much the same. Rose and Alice were still mad at me for leaving the way I did and weren't talking to me much, which suited me fine. I was dancing on stage four times a night (more than Rose, which also pissed her off) and doing lap dances. I wasn't making quite as much money as I was before, but it didn't matter. I looked out into the crowd every night and saw Edward watching me. I felt better, not great, but better about myself and it was a nice feeling.

Every night he would wait for me outside at the back of the club and he would walk me to my car, open the back door and we would sit and talk or just look at each other, or else we would make out like horny teenagers. We never left that parking lot before six in the morning and we always regretted having to leave.

Saturday morning I woke up excited. I had known Edward one week, but it already felt like forever. I counted down the hours until I could see him again. When it finally came time to get going for work I got a strange sensation in my gut. It was anxiety. I didn't know why, but I got this feeling that everything was about to change. It scared the hell out of me, but I tried to push it away.

I got to the club and everything was normal as I dressed in my button up black shirt and micro-mini black and green plaid skirt and my boots

I walked out when I heard my name for the evening, "Arizona." My song "Crush" by Jennifer Paige started to play and I started to sway my hips, looking for Edward. I didn't have to look far, he was front and center. He was smiling which made me bite my lip reflexively. He always had that effect on me. He was so beautiful and he dazzled me every night. All he had to wear was a simple t-shirt and he looked like a dream, a dream I wished I would never have to wake up from.

I went through my usual routine spins on the pole and touching myself. I got through the two other songs and just wanted to get off of the stage. I knew he would come and find me before I got backstage.

I walked to the back and felt a hand on my shoulder, but it was a different one. It wasn't the soft, gentle hand of Edward, the one I was expecting. This one grabbed roughly and urgently. I turned around to find the big Native-American guy again.

"Hi, babe." I started before his flurry of words cut me off.

"I want a dance, James said..."He stared before it was my turn to cut him off.

"I'm sorry, I don't do that anymore. I 'm just a dancer now. I can find..." he grabbed me harder as I offered to fine someone else for me.

"I don't want anyone else." He growled before taking a step closer to me.

"I'm going to have to ask you to let me go, hon." I grimaced, feeling his grip tighten even more. I looked around for a bouncer, for anyone, but they were all occupied and no one else was around.

"Not until I get what I want." He growled again and tried to pull me behind the curtain. I fought knowing what would happen if he managed to get me alone back there.

"Bitch." He spat as he pulled his arm back and back handed me so I fell to the ground. I felt the sting and the taste of blood start to flow from my nose and my mouth. He came back at me and I cowered away trying to protect my face from anymore damage.

I heard the crack of another blow, but I felt nothing. I looked up to see Edward punching the shit out of the other guy. He was screaming and swearing and he looked utterly murderous. I was frozen before I got my wits.

"Edward!" I shouted but he didn't even look at me. "Edward, please!" I begged. His head shot to me and he took in the blood flowing from my face.

"Oh shit, Bella." He said rushing over to me. He left the big guy lying on the ground while he looked at my face.

"Edward, I'm fine." I said, taking the hand that was touching my face in mine. I looked into his worried, terrified eyes. And that's when I knew. I knew I was finished. "Please Edward, take me out of here." I pleaded.

He looked at me for another moment and understanding washed over him, he knew what I meant. He scooped me up and walked me through the club. He walked me past the bouncers, past my boss, past my horrified looking friends. He walked me out of my old life and into a new one.

He put me into the passenger seat while Mike looked on calling my name. He drove us away from that club and I never looked back. My eyes were locked on Edward's stone face.

"Are you alright?" He asked, still not looking at me.

"I'm fine. Are you?" I asked reaching my fingers to the steering wheel where his bloodied knuckles gripped at it tightly. "You need to get some ice for you hand." I said rubbing it gently.

"Bella, don't worry about my damn hand." He said harshly. I recoiled at the acid in his voice. He noticed and reached his hand to stoke my cheek. "I'm sorry, Bella. I'm just so sorry."

"What are you sorry for? He's the one who hit me."

"I couldn't get to you fast enough. By the time I realized what was happening...I just, I couldn't get there, to you, fast enough." He sighed still stroking my cheek. "I promised to protect you."

"I'm fine, Edward. Nothing is broken, it's just a little bit of blood."

"And how would you know nothing's been broken?"

"It's not the first time I've been hit, Edward. And it's not the first time I've have my nose or cheekbone broken." He winced, but said nothing.

We drove for a long time. I watched him as he stared with a blank expression down the dark road. We got further and further from the city. When I had no idea where I was I turned to him.

"Where are we going?"

"I'm taking you back to my place. I'll get you fixed up and then I'll take you home...if that's what you want."

We pulled into a long, winding driveway. I watched thick trees line either side of the road. It looked like a scary movie, but I could feel no fear. I knew Edward would never hurt me. I knew that I was never safer than when I was with him.

All of a sudden there was a clearing and a house appeared out of nowhere. No, house wasn't the right word. It was nothing short of a mansion.

I tried to recover as my mouth hung open in shock. "You live...there?"

"No, no. This is my parent's house. I have a small cottage out back." I nodded in relief, but stiffened as we parked in front of the mansion, his parent's home.

"Wait, what are we doing?" I asked as he moved to open his door.

"My father is the best doctor there is. I'll get him to look at your face." I grabbed tightly onto his arm to stop him from leaving.

"No, I want you to do it. It's not that bad, I promise."

"Bella, come on." He pleaded with me.

"No. I'm not meeting your parents looking like this." I said gesturing to my miniskirt.

"Bella, don't be ridiculous. They already know everything about what you do, they don't care."

"Look either you do it or I do it myself." I said crossing my arms over my chest.

He sighed and rolled his eyes but restarted the car. We drove around back to what he considered a "small" stone cottage. This "cottage" was at least twice as big as my house with a beautiful manicured lawn and immaculate garden.

"Nice cottage." I sneered as he helped me from the car. He was definitely not allowed to see my house, ever. He smiled it let me in.

It was even better on the inside, light and airy and clean. All the walls were white, but artwork hung everywhere so there wasn't one bit of open space, but everything flowed perfectly. Black leather couches and arm chairs were strewn about the living room. But the best thing of the whole house was a beautiful grand piano.

I gasped at all the beauty, including Edward, which surrounded me. "My mother." He muttered, pulling me along.

He pulled me along hallway and up staircases. He hesitated outside a large room before taking a deep breath and reaching a hand inside to flick on a light.

My eyes traveled first to a large four poster bed with black and white bedding with tons of pillows. My lips curled up into a mischievous smile he glanced at me and rolled his eyes. "Don't even think about it." He said taking my hand again and pulling me along as I glanced at book shelves and paintings and incredibly comfortable looking arm chairs that were neatly arranged around a glass coffee table.

"Wow." I whispered and hoped he didn't hear me.

"Come on. Let's get you fixed up." He said as he pushed open a half shut door. The bathroom was as big as any I had ever seen. The enclosed glass shower was large enough for five people to move comfortably in. The double square Jacuzzi and tub was huge. There was even a sitting area with white wicker chairs.

"Sit." He said motioning to the chairs as he started opening and closing cupboards. I walked slowly, allowing my hands to ghost over the tub, the shower doors, an antique vase, over the golden frames of the mirrors.

I sat in the wicker chair which was much more comfortable than it looked. Edward made his way to me carrying a black bag. I looked at him questioningly. "A present from my father, I knew it would come in handy someday." He said kneeling in front of me.

"This is going to hurt." He said pulling out some antiseptic wipes and cleaning the cuts on my face. I winced but tried to let it not bother me to show Edward it was nothing. It's didn't work. It didn't work, he noticed. "I'm sorry."

I smiled at him, searching for something to say, anything to fill his tortured silence.

My mind drifted to the piano downstairs. "Do you play? The piano, I mean." He nodded and smiled. "I'd love to hear you play. When I was little my mother made me... I mean, I used to play, a little, but I was never very good. You're good, I bet." I rambled trying anything just to stop the silence.

"I can play, I like to play anyway." He looked at me realizing my uncomfort at the silence. "My mother, she also made me play. I used to hate to practice; it was a very ridged practicing schedule. I had to play at set periods of time. I used to hate it, but as I grew older I learned to accept it, to cherish the time with me and my piano. It cleared my mind." He explained still working on my face. He started to press on my nose and cheekbones, checking for breaks.

"Well, it looks like you were right, no breaks." He said cleaning up his supplies.

"Told ya so." I said playfully and he gave me a sad smile. "Edward, will you play for me?"

"Sure." He said looking at me. "What, now?" I nodded. 'Don't you want to sleep or something?" I shook my head. He signed and reached out a hand for me. I took it and he pulled me to him into a tight hug.

I held on to him, never wanting to let him go. He was the only thing I had. My old life was over and a new one was bout to begin. I just hoped that Edward would be a part of that life, forever. I pressed my face into his shoulder before recoiling suddenly remembering my bruised and previously bloodied face.

I glanced in the mirror. "Oh God. I'm hideous." I said seeing the dark bruises already appearing under my eye and at my mouth.

"You're beautiful?" He said bending to lightly kiss each bruise. He took my hand and began to lead me back down stairs sitting me on his piano bench. He sat next to me and took a deep sigh before placing his fingers on the keys.

And then began the most beautiful and heartfelt version of A River Flows that I have ever heard. It was like poured all of his soul into the song. As it finished he looked at me sheepishly.

"It's beautiful, Edward. You're amazing." I encouraged, hoping to hear more.

"Thank you." He said, contemplating something.

"What is it Edward?" I asked reaching my fingers to touch the worry lines that had appeared on his brows.

"It's just. Bella, I wrote something, for you. Would...would it be alright if I played it for you? Or would that be...creepy?"

"No, not creepy at all. Please, please play it, Edward." I said still tracing his face. He took my hand and kissed my fingers. He turned back to the keys and closed his eyes.

The notes poured from his fingers onto the keys and rang beautifully in my ears. The music surrounded my heart and it lifted me up. I leaned my head on his should and took a deep breath, inhaling him. They was the most at ease, the safest I had ever felt.

Every unspoken word between us was said in that moment. I knew what he was feeling, because I was feeling it too. All the fear and worry melted away because it didn't matter anymore. The only thing that matter was that he loved me and I loved him and this was only the beginning.

_This is our beginning_, I thought as I drifted to sleep sitting next to my Edward on his piano bench with my head against his shoulder and the beautiful music swirling around us.


	7. Chapter 7 Meetings

I don't Own any of these characters!!!

**a/n Ok, this is my nod to Kristen. Who was not only great in Twilight, but in every other movie she's been in... In case you haven't seen her in anything else, check out SPEAK, IN THE LAND OF WOMEN, INTO THE WILD, THE MESSANGERS, UNDERTOW. If you haven't seen it, go see ADENTURLAND now! Also The Cake Eaters is also out on DVD. **

**So this story is fowl and dirty and gritty. It does include some rape, but it is a back story, I will let you know when that scene comes up and you can choose to skip it if you wish. I will be doing a playlist for every chapter, some will have more songs than others, this is a club after all! Please enjoy and let me know what you think...**

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**PLAYLIST: link on profile...it has been UPDATED with all these songs and others from all other chapters! Check it out!**

**If I Run Into You – Joey Mcintyre**

**Sex on Fire – Kings of Leon**

**The Bitch is Back – Elton John**

Chapter 7 – Meetings

I woke up the next morning confused. I looked around the large, unfamiliar room, taking in the huge bed I was laying in. My mind groggily started putting together all that had happened the night before.

I touched my face feeling the swelling had gone down, but there was sure to be a good bruise that would linger there for days.

I remembered that Edward had rescued me and brought me back here, took care of me and cleaned me up. Then he had played me the most beautiful music. I looked around the room and noticed folded blankets and a pillow on the couch at the far end of the room. He had slept here with me, but had taken the couch and put me in his incredibly big and comfy bed.

I started to stretch and consider getting up when there was a light tap on the door.

"Hello?" I called.

"Good morning, or should I say afternoon." He quipped as he walked in the door balancing a tray of food in his arms. I glanced at the side table and gasped. It was well after one in the afternoon.

"Oh shit! I'm sorry! I've ruined your whole day. You must have crap to do." I said blushing a little as I jumped out of bed.

"Bella, don't be silly. You didn't ruin anything. I had nothing planned for today." He said placing the tray down on the coffee table next to the couch. "Besides, I quite enjoy your company." He said as he sat on the couch and gestured for me to sit next to him.

I hesitated, not really sure what to do. "Bella, why don't you come and eat. I don't want to have had to carry all of this up here for nothing." He said grabbing a grape and popping it in his mouth.

I surveyed the tray and smiled at the croissants, fresh fruit, muffins, eggs, bacon, orange and cranberry juice, tea and coffee sitting before him. "Jesus, Edward. How many are you expecting for breakfast?' He smiled crookedly and I made my way to him, crossing my legs beneath me.

"I didn't know what you liked, so I brought it all." He said shrugging.

I grabbed a croissant and started pulling it apart. We sat in silence for a while and I wondered when the silence would be too much for one of us and the inevitable would finally happen.

"Bella, are we going to talk about what happened last night?" I inhaled deeply and placed my slice of bacon on a plate.

"What do you want to talk about, exactly?"

"Did you mean it?"

"Yes."

"You're done? For good, you're finished?"

"Edward, I'm not going back there ever." He thought for a few moments and I watched as a huge smile crept across his face making his eyes dance and sparkle.

"What?" I asked when he didn't say anything and he only sat there staring at me.

He reached across the sofa and grabbed me, pulling me into his side where I happily nuzzled myself into him.

"So we can finally start figuring us out."

"Us?" I asked.

"Yes. What we are, what we could be." He paused and looked at me. "What are we Bella? Am I, I mean, do you want me to be...God I feel like I'm in fifth grade."

I giggled at the confused, awkward look on his face. "Edward, are you asking me to go steady with you?"

He snickered and rolled his eyes. "Yes, I guess I kinda am."

He looked at me expectantly and I raised my eyebrows at him. "You're going to make me ask aren't you?

"Yup." He pursed his lips, trying to hide his smile.

"Isabella," he started and I tried to interrupt, he knew I hated my first name. He put a finger to my lips to silence me as he cracked an even bigger smile crept across his lips. "Isabella Marie Swan, will you please do me the honor of being my girl?"

"Not if you're going to call me Isabella." I teased. He laughed and pulled me closer to him, taking my face in his hands and kissing me.

This was what I had been missing. His lips became urgent on mine. He was much more urgent then ever before, knowing that there was nothing that could stop us from finally being together. I gasped a little from the pressure of his kisses on my battered face. He pulled away and muttered his apologies.

"No apologies. Don't stop." I said crawling into his lap, straddling him. I'd done this so many times, having to restrain myself knowing that he would stop me before anything went too far. This was pure heaven, this right here, right now. There was none of the hesitation or caution he usually showed.

His hands traveled from my face to my neck to my shoulders. They continued traveling down my waist to my hips and down to my knees. They rested there for a few minutes as he kissed me. Then he pulled away from our kiss and looked and me. He stared directly into my eyes, asking permission.

I smiled and gave him a nod. He turned and laid me on the couch. I stared up at him and for the first time I felt vulnerable. Sex for me was always about doing things for others, it was never about me. Guys looked at me with lust, they looked at me with pure wanting, they even looked at me with anger. But they never looked at me the way Edward was looking at me right now, total love and respect.

I had no idea what to do now. Usually it was just about getting them off as fast as possible. There was none of these longing looks. His hands, resting on my knees again, began to travel up this time. They slid slowly up the outside of my thighs and it felt so good that I closed me eyes.

"Bella, look at me.:" He said as his hands reached beneath the skirt I still wore.

I opened my eyes and saw for the first time how beautiful he truly was. It was almost painful to look at him. I reached my hand up to touch his slightly muscular chest, trailing my fingers down to the tops of him pajama bottoms.

"Not yet, Bella." He said as I tried to reach into his pants.

I felt him hook his fingers in my g-string and pull down. I raised my hips as he slide them down. His eyes never left mine. He never looked down or away from me as he slowly laid himself on top of me. He put his face inches from mine and looked into my eyes.

"Hi." He said.

"Hi." I smiled back as he put his lips on mine.

And this was perfect. Our light kisses quickly deepened and his body started grinding into mine. I hated the barrier of his pants he still had on.

He raised himself slightly and started to unbutton my shirt. At this cue I reached to him and started to slide his pants down. Nerves filled my system, this wasn't just about sex.

Just as I had started to get his pants down and he started to look like he was ready to progress along, the door bell rang.

"Shit." He muttered, pausing on my third button. I wiggled beneath him pushing my hips into his pulsing cock. "Ignore it. They'll go away. Just ignore it." I said as he moaned.

The door bell rang again and I groaned. Then I heard a voice.

"Edward, darling, I know you're in there, I can see your car."

"Shit." He said again as get got of me and walking over to a button on the wall.

"I'll be down in a minute. Why don't you head around back?" He said pressing the button and then releasing.

"Umm, Bella."

"Who was that?" I asked, sitting up.

"My mother."

_Oh shit_! I thought, as I started looking for places to hide.

"Oh, um, okay. Well I could stay here until you're done."

"Bella, I want you to meet her."

I stared at him for a long moment before I realized that he was actually serious. My mouth literally dropped open in shock." What? No! You can't be serious." I stammered.

"You don't want to meet her?" He asked, looking hurt.

"Well, of course I want to meet her, Edward." I said sounding like it should be obvious. "But...But..." I said looking for excuses and knowing there were hundreds to choose from. "I have nothing to wear. What if she hates me? Stripper, remember?" I said in a rush, hoping he would see that now might not be the time to meet his mother. I was in a micro-mini, hair all messy and a nice big ole' shiner.

"Don't be ridiculous, Bella. She knows all about you. She's going to love you." He said running a hand down my face, lightly playing with the bruises. "As for clothes, check the bottom drawer, there will be something in there for you, there must be."

He kissed my eye lightly and strode to his closet, disappearing behind the door. I walked over to the dresser and pulled out the drawer. Tons of shirts and pants, women's clothes, filled the drawer.

"Uh, Edward? Is there something you want to tell me?' I asked looking toward the closet to see his head pop out around the door.

"What?"

"Well, you seem to have a lot of woman's clothing here..." I trailed off when he started to laugh.

"They were my ex's. She hasn't come to get them and I haven't gotten around to getting rid of them." He said still laughing and heading back into the closet.

I riffled through the drawer feeling a little strange about wearing another woman's clothes, but it was either this or wear my clothes, or let Edward down. This was decidedly the better of three evils.

Edward came out in faded jeans and a white button down dress shirt. I bit my lip, staring at his open collar watching him toll up the sleeves to his elbows. He looked so good and all I wished was that his mother wasn't sitting outside waiting for him.

"Find something?" He asked, staring at the jeans and v-neck t-shirt in my arms.

"Uh, maybe. I'll have to see it they fit."

"Okay, well, the bathroom's there. I assume you want to freshen up?"

I nodded and he walked over to me, kissing me before pulling back. "We'll be outside, join us when you're ready." He explained the layout of the house so I could easily find my way out. He strode to the door, putting a hand on the handle before he turned to look at me.

"Don't worry, she's going to love you, I promise." He closed the door and I stood staring at it for a while before finally snapping myself out of my fear induced stupor.

I breathed in deeply and walked toward the bathroom. The giant glass walled shower stood before me, beckoning me to it. I decided it would be in everyone's best interest if I kept them waiting, but was freshly showered.

I made the water as hot as I could stand and stepped in letting it relax all my tensed muscles. It felt good as it ran down my body and worked to soothe me.

It was one of the best shower experiences I had ever had. Those rainfall shower heads worked wonders. I made a mental note that this would be a great place to be with Edward. I smiled wickedly as I thought of getting Edward in here with me. There was even a conviently placed bench along the back side of the shower.

I opened the bottles of shampoo, finding the one that smelled like Edward. It was musky, but sweet with a hint of lavender and something else that I couldn't put my finger on.

I realized my shower was actually taking longer than it should, so I regretfully stepped out and wrapped myself in a huge fluffy white towel. I dressed and decided that even though I was meeting his mother for the first time, I would go without panties. Day old underwear? Yuck! Cursing my black bra, I slipped on the tight white shirt and the pair of jeans. I hoped that whoever owned them wouldn't want them back, considering how I was going commando.

I looked at my face and groaned. It was going to take a lot of foundation and cover-up to mask the dark purple and blue bruises. I grabbed my purse from the night stand and went to work dabbing and blending.

When there was nothing left that I could try to salvage my battered face I gave up and ran my fingers through my hair. I left it down and wavy, falling down my back. I sighed knowing that I couldn't prolong my hiding anymore. I walked slowly through the house peeking in every immaculate room. Everything was so clean and perfect.

I found the back door and stepped into a maze of hedges surrounding a stone path. I forced my feet to move, one in front of the other. As I moved forward I heard voices just beyond the hedges. I peaked out from behind one to see Edward and a stunning woman seated at a white wrought iron table. My brow furrowed at the strained look on Edward's face.

"I understand that, Edward and of course I'm not suggesting that you go back to her, but don't you think you should at least speak with her?' His mother was saying.

"Esme, she was the one who left. We both knew it wasn't working for a very long time, but she left. She did us both a favor. I, for one, have never been happier."

"But Edward, she misses you. You should just speak with her..." She hesitated before Edward cut her off.

"Mother," she said sternly. "I am with Bella now. I don't need, nor do I wish to, speak to her. If she would like to come and pick up her stuff, she is welcome to do so at any time."

His mother began to argue again and I decided to give them some time. I turned to return to the house. I tried to remain unseen, but Edward must have caught sight of me.

"Bella!" He called, excusing himself and coming over to me, taking both my hands in his. "You look incredible." He said nuzzling his lips against my cheek. "You can hardly see the bruise."

"Lots of practice." I said shrugging. "Look, Edward, I should go."

"What? Why?" He asked pulling back to look at me.

"You and your mom, you look like you need to have a talk."

"No, it's fine. It's over. Don't worry. Please, will you just come with me?" He looked so deeply and so sincerely into my eyes that there was no way I could refuse. I smiled and nodded. He returned my smile with his, and it was my favorite crooked smile. He caressed my cheek with his hand before kissing it and leading me toward the table.

His mother rose and I was surprised to see a warm smile spread wide across her face. "Well, now Bella! It's lovely to finally meet you." She said as she reached for me and enveloped me in a tight, friendly hug.

"Mrs. Cullen, it's great to meet you, as well." I said lamely, slightly taken aback by the change in her attitude.

She released me and gestured to the table. "You'll be joining us, yes?" She asked and I nodded, afraid of what idiotic thing might come out of my mouth next. "Good, good. Would you like some fresh lemonade? I make it myself." She said proudly.

I smiled and took the glad she offered me. "Wow, Mrs. Cullen, this is amazing." I said after taking a sip.

"Thank you, but enough of this Mrs. Cullen nonsense. Please, call me Esme."

I smiled at her as he busied herself and Edward leaned into whisper in my ear. "It tastes much better with vodka. I'll show you later." He said soothingly, with just a hint of a smile in his voice.

"So, Bella. I hear you are in the middle of a career change. Do you know what you want to do now?"

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. Edward took my hand under the table and gripped it. He started to say something but I cut him off with a smile. "I am, but I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to do yet. It all happened suddenly." She smiled and nodded at me.

"Well, whatever we can do to help, please let us know. Our Edward here seems quite taken with you."

"Mother." Edward said in a low warning voice as his mother and I smiled at each other.

There was a beeping noise and Edward scrambled to grab something in his pocket. He sighed pulling out a little black beeper. "I have to grab this; I'm on call at the hospital. Mother, will you behave?"

"Of course darling, don't be silly. Go take your call."

"Bella, are you..."

"I'm fine, go." He stood and walked toward the house, pausing to see us smiling at him. He sighed deeply but kept walking.

"So, Bella. I don't know ho much you heard before, when Edward and I were talking."

"Oh I wasn't trying to eavesdrop. I figured you would want some privacy, I was heading up to the house when Edward stopped me. I'm sorry I interrupted."

"Don't be silly. The only reason I bring it up is that, well, I don't know how much you know about his relationship before you..." She paused after she asked her silent question, obviously waiting for me to answer it.

"Oh, well. Not much to be honest. Just that they knew each other for a very long time and she left. That's pretty much it."

"Well, a very long time is an understatement. They have known each other practically since they were born. They dated off and on in high school. They got together officially in college and then in medical school. They both graduated early and got jobs at the same hospital."

It was strange to hear this story from his mother. Edward didn't talk about her often and I never pushed. She still had never been given a name, always being referred to as "she" or "her". Esme must have seen the look on my face and decided to soothe my fears.

"Bella, I tell you this because, despite all the years Edward and Tanya spent together, he never asked her to marry him, or even to move in to his home. She was never what he wanted. He was never truly happy with her." She smile and took my hand, looking deep into my eyes, the way Edward did. "I never saw him look at her the way he looks at you. He's never been happier than he has been this past week with you."

I smiled at her words, glad to have a name for this elusive woman, but I was also confused.

"But you sounded like you wanted him to see her..." I thought out loud.

"Oh yes, dear, but not for the reasons you are probably thinking. Edward and Tanya were never good for each other. They fought constantly, they were very competitive. The only good thing they had was that they drove each other, professionally. Edward is probably a better doctor for having the competitive edge she inspired in him." She sighed. "I think it would be healthy for them to speak, to get closure. She simply walked out one night and didn't return, didn't call, didn't write, nothing."

"Wow." I said contemplating the situation.

"I think your relationship would be even healthier and stronger if he said a proper goodbye to her."

"I wouldn't call our relationship healthy." She cocked her head and gave me an intrigued look. "You know what I was. Surely you can't think I'm right for your son." I mumbled looking at our hands intertwined on the table.

"Bella, you make my son happy. I can see you are a good person. You are finished with that life, yes?" I nodded furverently. "Then I welcome you to our family." I felt tears welling in my eyes. I couldn't remember what it was like to have a family, and here was Edward's mother welcoming me into hers.

Edward stroke from the house and took in my expression, the tears in my eyes. He stopped in his tracks and looked from me to his mother and back again. "Bella? Is everything alright?" he asked, an angry look focused on Esme.

"Yes." I said as he walked to me to wipe the tears from my eyes. "Really Edward, everything is great." He looked doubtful, but let it drop.

"Do you have to go to the hospital?"

"No, not today, but I will have to pop in tomorrow for a few hours."

"Well, I'd best be going." Esme stood, holding her arms open for me. I stood and she pulled me in for another tight hug. "It was lovely to meet you, Bella. I hope to see you again soon." She released me and went to Edward, kissing him on both cheeks.

"Do be good to her, darling. I think she's a keeper." Edward turned to show his mother out. "I know the way, you two enjoy each other." She waved and Edward walked behind me putting his arms around my waist and lightly kissing my neck.

"And that was my mother." He laughed and put him chin on my shoulder. I smiled and ran my fingers through his hair knowing that we would need to have a talk and just wishing we could stay exactly like this forever.

Edward pulled me along and we walked around his extensive "backyard" as he called it. I, on the other hand, found "estate" more fitting. We strolled in the woods and a long the banks of the ravine. We chit chatted and walked in comfortable silences. I worked up the nerve to ask him what I really wanted to know.

"Edward, can we talk?

"Of course, what's on your mind?"

"Well, I was wondering if we could talk about Tanya." I watched him purse his lips and sigh deeply.

"My mother, of course. What did she say to you?"

"Nothing, just that Tanya walked out and didn't come back and you hadn't talked since."

"That's right. What were you wondering?"

"Well, why haven't you talked?"

"Neither of us felt the need to, I guess. That is, until word got around that I was seeing you. Now, all of a sudden she wants to talk."

"Why now, do you think?"

He sighed and paused to look out into the ravine. "My guess is that she wants what she can't have. Tanya always did like a challenge."

"She wants you back." I guessed.

"I would guess."

We were silent for a long moment before I asked something else. "Edward, your mom, she said you were together forever." He nodded and allowed me to continue. "Well, why did you never get married or anything?"

He thought for a moment, looking distractedly into the dark water before answering. "I don't really know. I thought about it. But, it just, it never seemed right. It was never her I would see being my wife, the mother of my children. I never had a picture of her. I had a picture of a woman in my mind and she just never fit."

"What was she missing?"

She was too tall, too perfect, too blond. She was never her. I can see the picture much more clearly now." He said facing me, his stunning green eyes boring into me. "I see her now, she's standing right in front of me and I never want to let her go." He kissed me I got lost in everything he was saying and doing.

"Can we go back to your house now?" I asked, more interested in being with him more than ever. He smiled and nodded.

We walked back quickly, just wanting each other. We barely made it to the door before he grabbed me and started kissing me passionately, urgently. I walked backwards as he walked forward. I tugged at the bottom of his shirt, not bothering with the buttons and he tugged at mine and both of our shirts were thrown away.

Our fingers worked at the buttons on each others pants. Edward's fell to the floor and he stepped forward, stepping out of them before he got to his knees to slowly slide my pants down his hands moving slowly down my waist, my hips, my legs. He gasped and caressed my naked hips finally seeing the lack of underwear. He leaned forward to kiss my stomach as his hands moved back up my body. I grabbed his hands and pulled up so he was standing again. He captured my mouth and kissed me as we looked into each others eyes.

I kept walking backwards and he kept advancing forwards. I felt the back of my knees hit something and Edward lowered me to the soft couch and I positioned myself so I was laying down and I pulled him down so he was laying on top of me.

My hips met him and he moaned my name, grabbing onto them and grinding himself into me.

Something told me to take advantage of this moment, so I stuck my fingers into the waist band of his boxers and was just starting to pull down when we were interrupted once again.

"Edward, Really now? On the couch that we bought and had shipped from Italy? Really?" A high voice trilled. I looked up to see a perfectly proportioned strawberry blond standing over us.


	8. Chapter 8 Sex on Fire

I don't Own any of these characters!!!

**a/n Ok, this is my nod to Kristen. Who was not only great in Twilight, but in every other movie she's been in... In case you haven't seen her in anything else, check out SPEAK, IN THE LAND OF WOMEN, INTO THE WILD, THE MESSANGERS, UNDERTOW. If you haven't seen it, go see ADENTURLAND now! Also The Cake Eaters is also out on DVD. **

**So this story is fowl and dirty and gritty. It does include some rape, but it is a back story, I will let you know when that scene comes up and you can choose to skip it if you wish. I will be doing a playlist for every chapter, some will have more songs than others, this is a club after all! Please enjoy and let me know what you think...**

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**PLAYLIST: link on profile...it has been UPDATED with all these songs and others from all other chapters! Check it out!**

**Misery Business - Paramore**

**I like it Like That – Danny Wood**

**Sex On Fire – Kings on Leon**

**Always Be My Baby – David Cook**

**OKAY DANNY WOODS SONG IS NOT ON MY PLAYLIST!! Please look it up on youtube! .com/watch?v=JLRcDttaMJ4 This chapter is nothing without the song! PLEASE listen when you get to the part! Ps I realized that I used Kings of Leon Twice...i think it fit...deal with it lol! **

**Hope you enjoy and an extra warning. This is GRAPHIC LANGUAGE AND STUFF...**

Chapter 8 – Sex On Fire

Edward groaned and buried his face into my shoulder while I stared up at the mock smile perched upon the perfectly glossed lips of the strawberry blonde standing over us...

Still breathing heavily, Edward pulled a blanket from the top of the sofa to cover us up. "Tanya." He said roughly. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"I spoke with your mother. She said I could come by anytime to pick up my things."

"Somehow I don't think she meant now."

"Why not? This is anytime."

"I'm kind of busy here; could you come back some other time?"

"Well, it's just that I have an embolectomy tomorrow, there are some things I really do need." I saw Edward's eyes light up at the talk of surgical procedure, thank God for Grey's Anatomy or I would have no idea what they were talking about.

I looked at Edward and watched his expression harden. He sighed and motioned to the hallway. "Give us a minute, Tanya."

"Certainly. I'll be in our bedroom." She said with a smirk as she walked from the room. My jaw tightened and I fought the urge to jump up and smack her.

"My bedroom, Tanya. It's my bedroom." Edward called after her.

He turned to me and put his forehead on mine.

"I'm sorry, Bella."

"Uh huh. Are there any more family members or ex-girlfriends likely to stop by tonight? I asked pushing my hips into him, showing him what he was missing. He groaned and closed his eyes.

"Bella, you do know that I'm trying to become decent here so I can go fight with my ex, right?

"Right, sorry." I said thrusting into him once more. "I'll be good now." I said as he smiled wickedly.

He kissed my forehead before he got up and draped the blanket over me. I gathered it up and wrapped it around myself, following him.

"Do you have any idea where we started shedding our clothes?"

"Umm…I wasn't really paying attention." I admitted. "Kitchen?"

"Hmm." He answered, walking around before we found the piles of clothes strewn about in the kitchen and hall.

We dressed in silence and Edward came to kiss me softly. "I'll be back."

"I'll entertain myself."

He nodded and kissed me again. "I'll get rid of her as soon as I can." He said walking to the doorway. I smiled and nodded. I watched him leave and headed back to the big room with his piano.

I hadn't noticed before, but the walls were lined with shelves upon shelves of books. I perused the selection, finding many of my favorite books. My eyes feel on one title in particular and my hands reached to the shelf reverently pulling it delicately down. East of Eden, the one book I would have taken with me so many years ago, if only I had been given the chance to pack.

I walked over to the sofa and curled up, draping the blanket over me. I started to read, immersing myself so deeply into the pages that I managed to completely block out the sound of Edward and Tanya bickering somewhere in the house.

I managed to get a significant way through the book. I hadn't realized I'd fallen asleep until I heard the beautiful sound of the piano tinkling.

It brought me out of my slumber and I smiled thinking I could see Edward's beautiful save again. I turned and the smile abruptly faded. It wasn't Edward but Tanya sitting on the bench. She smiled wickedly at me when she saw my face fall.

"Oh, yes. I play as well. Edward taught me everything I know, he's a wonderful teacher. We used to spend hours in front of this piano." She sighed wistfully, remembering things I wanted to know nothing about.

"Yes, well that was a long time ago. It's me on that bench now." I said icily, injecting as much venom as I could.

"Ahh, Bella, is it? I wouldn't get too comfortable here. We do this often, break up I mean. But, we always get back together."

"I don't think so, not this time. I'm what he wants." I said getting to my feet.

"For now. Edward has had others in my absence. You can ask him about one girl in particular. What was her name? Ah, yes, Victoria. She thought she'd last too. Edward doesn't like being alone." She mused, still smiling. "He likes to have someone in his bed." She eyed me up and down before raising her eyebrows. "Although, he usually doesn't sink this low."

I narrowed my eyes and took a step forward just as Edward walked into the room, saving me from myself.

"Why are you still here? You got what you came for." He said icily, walking over to me and putting his arms around my waist kissing my temple. It was my turn to smile while I watched her face fall. She watched Edward smile at me and stare longingly into my eyes, absentmindedly playing with a strand of my hair. "Bella and I have things to attend to, you can leave now. I'll have the rest of your things shipped to you."

She looked dumbfounded for a moment and just before she was about to leave she turned eyes to me. She really looked at me now and her eyes narrowed staring at my chest.

"Wait. Is that my shirt?" She asked with disbelief.

"Yup." I said casually. "Would you like it back?" I crossed my arms over my chest and grabbed the bottom hem of the white shirt. I pulled it over my head and threw it at her. She stared at me in shock. Her eyes went from me to Edward who stood by my side staring only at me. He was biting his lip and his eyes had turned dark and heavy with lust.

"Oh and the pants, they're yours too." I said putting my fingers on the bottom of her jeans that I still wore. I popped the button and started to undo the zipper. "Would you like these too? Although, I should warn you," I said, and then whispered, "I'm not wearing anything underneath."

She huffed in disgust and looked expectantly at Edward, hoping he would chastise me maybe. He just looked only at me and cleared his throat. "Uh, Tanya, I think you should go now. Unless, of course, you want a show." He said looking into my eyes and caressing my cheek.

She huffed again and closed her eyes, shaking her head once and disappearing from the room. I heard the door slam.

Edward grabbed my waist in an instant and pulled me into him. His eyes were dark and filled with desire. He looked, if possible even more beautiful than usual.

He nuzzled into my hair and started kissing and biting my ear lobe. I think we have something we started that needs finishing." He whispered grazing his teeth gently on my neck. "If you're up to it, that is." He added pressing me closer to him.

I could feel his rock hard cock pressing up against me and gasped. "Feels like you're up to it." I said reaching between us to grab his hard on through his jeans. I moaned, finally feeling it in my hands. He hissed and bit my neck harder.

He grabbed my leg and hitched it up over his waist, then he grabbed the other and did the same. I wrapped my legs tightly around his back as he held my ass, kneading it with desperate fingers.

He walked us over and set me down on top of the piano. His lips and tongue and teeth never left whatever bit of skin he could reach.

I started to reach for his pants again but he grabbed me firmly by the wrists and held my hands behind my back. He nuzzled into my neck and nibbled my ear. "No, Bella. It's my turn." He whispered in between the darting of his tongue on my throat.

I groaned as he let go of my wrists and I held perfectly still, hands behind my back as his fingers traced slowly up my arms. His touch was so light and his breath on my neck was so warm it made me shiver.

His fingers trailed up, all the way up to my shoulders, pausing there for only a moment. This was the moment, I could tell he decided. This was it. Once this was started, once his fingers continued to move, nothing was going to stop us. No mothers, no exes, no fears, no anxieties. This was just us, just for us.

His fingers at the tops of my shoulders finally started to continue their slow, torturous decent. They lightly brushed my collar bone before they trailed straight down to my tits; his fingers lingered there for only a moment barely touching my hard nipples through my bra. I moaned and threw my head back as his fingers slid down my waist to my hips.

When his fingers reached the waistband of my jeans he hooked his thumbs underneath and began to pull. I positioned myself palms down on the piano to assist him in the removal or my pants.

He had of course see me naked before, but still once my pants were removed he gasped and murmured "You're beautiful" huskily before he placed my feet on the keys of the piano. "Lay back." He ordered and I complied. I heard scraping as he pulled the bench closer to the piano.

I closed my eyes and waited. I felt his shaky hands grasp my ankles and move slowly up my legs. His touch was so soft and light. I'd never been touched like this. I heard myself moan and I bit my lip as his fingers reached my inner thighs, rubbing small circles with his thumbs.

His fingers continued to move up to the outside of my thighs and to my hips, grasping them firmly. His face was inches from my pussy.

I could feel his hot breath on me and I opened my eyes to look at him. He stared at me and tightened his grip on my waist, pulling me closer to the edge of the piano. I watched his tongue dart out and lick the spot just below my belly button. He licked and kissed his way down, his hands never leaving my waist.

He reached just above my clit and retreated I wiggled and thrust my hips up, begging him for what I really wanted. He chuckled but didn't oblige, instead he bit the inside of the inside of my thigh, hard. The pain was welcomed and only enhanced the wetness between my legs.

I watched him inhale deeply obviously smelling my arousal. He groaned and moved his head to the other thigh biting that one too. I moaned again, distracted. Suddenly I felt his tongue flick slowly against my clit. I gasped and bucked my hips.

His whole mouth covered my clit with its warm wetness and I writhed on the piano. I felt, one then another, finger slip deep within me. I felt off all of my muscles contracted around him and I knew I wasn't far off.

I reveled in the fact this had never happened before. I'd only ever come by myself, never at the hands, or tongue, of someone else. Guys weren't really big on paying to lick you and when they did, they were never very good at it. I always had to fake it just to get them the fuck off me.

But, with Edward! Edward was heaven. These sensations were ones I've never felt before, not even when I got myself off. My body tensed and my hips shot up involuntarily. Edward sensed I was close and grabbed my ass, his tongue still working. My hips started rocking, riding his face.

Edward lifted his head away from my throbbing pussy, to look into my eyes, his hands still kneading my ass. "Come for me, Bella." He whispered before assaulting my clit once again. He kept his eyes locked on mine and that's all I needed. My body tensed again and a shutter rocked through me. I think I muttered his name as I rode out the waves of pleasure.

When I was finally calm and the last shutter subsided he kissed my pussy, once, twice, three times before he retreated, grabbing my hands and pulling me up to sit in front of him. I was spent and he chuckled at the look on my face.

"You look like you're done." He said nuzzling my neck, placing light kisses there. One hand was lightly brushing across my bra. "We can just sleep, if that's what you want." He said sweetly.

I laughed, placing my feet on the bench and my hands on his face, looking deep into his eyes. "I don't think so, Edward. You aren't getting away from me that easy." I said kicking the bench back and pressing my body close to him, pushing him backwards.

His eyes widened as my feet hit the floor, my knees still feeling a little shaky and spun him around so his ass was sitting on the piano keys.

"You're in trouble now," I said raising an eyebrow at him, running my fingers down his chest, undoing the couple of buttons he had done up after we got interrupted. I spread the shirt wide and marveled at the sight of his naked, sculpted chest. I slid the shirt from his body and watched it hit the floor. I bit my lip as I leaned close to him licking his neck, his chest, biting his nipples, allowing my hands to trace down his sides.

I wasn't in the mood to tease tonight. I wanted to make him feel good, but I was giving into my own selfish desires. I wanted to feel him, to touch him, but this wasn't going to be slow and torturous, I was going to do it and he would like it.

My fingers found the button of his jeans. They slide the zipper down. I put my hand inside his pants, trailing my fingers the length of his cock. He hissed at the feeling of my warm fingers through his tight boxers. That's when I knew I would tease no longer. I grabbed his pants and underwear and pulled. They hit the floor and he didn't bother to step out of them as I lowered myself to the floor, still kissing and licking my way down.

When I was kneeling in front of him, I looked up at him from underneath my lashes. I grabbed his cock in one hand and slid it slowly up allowing my tongue to trail behind, only the tip of it touching him. He gasped as I took him in my mouth, not bothering to take it slow I took him all in, he groaned and grabbed a fistful of my hair as his cock hit the back of my throat.

I licked and sucked and played with his balls while he tried to restrain himself from pumping himself into my mouth. So fast I barely registered what was happening he released my hair and grasped my arms. He forced me up and turned me around, forcing my legs apart. I knew what he was going to do and a thrill shot through me.

I didn't know what Edward liked, but I knew guys. I knew this meant this would be hard and fast, maybe a little rough. My pussy ached for him, thinking about what he would feel like.

I felt him bend, reaching for something. He fumbled and grunted in frustration. I heard the telltale sign of a condom wrapper. I tried to prepare myself for what I knew was coming, but there was no preparing. He bent me over, placed his hands on my hips. I felt him place himself at the entrance to my pussy. Suddenly he shoved himself deep inside me and grunted as he hit my limits. I gasped and he froze, worried he'd done something wrong. "God, I'm sorry." He mumbled and I could tell he was going to pull out.

I did the only thing I could; I straightened up and leaned back into him, kissing his perfect jaw. "No, it's good. Don't stop." I whispered, injecting as much lust in my voice as I could. I bent back over, placing my hands on the bench. He didn't move and inch and I knew it was going to be up to me.

I thrust forward and then back into him and I moaned feeling him fill me again. I did this for several minutes and even though he felt amazing I started to get a little frustrated at his lack of participation. "Are you going to fuck me or not?" I barked in frustration, feeling my orgasm and knowing it was still too far out of reach for me to attain myself. He sighed and I knew I needed to push him. "Fine, I'll go if you don't want me." He growled and I knew it worked. I pushed back into him and this time he responded, grabbing me tight around my waist and pulled me harder into him.

"Yes, Edward like that. Please, don't stop." I begged, egging him on. I knew what he could do and I was just waiting for him to relax. My words must have done the trick because he bent closer to me, putting his stomach against my back and running his fingers from my waist to my tits, grabbing them roughly. He sank his teeth into my shoulder and I cried out in pleasure and pain.

I felt my body tense and my pussy grab onto his cock. I threw my head back, into his shoulder. He turned my head and kissed me urgently on my lips. His speed increased and I felt him tense. He grunted my name and stilled inside himself inside me. He pressed him head against my back kissing it. We both lay there panting before giggles started to escape my mouth.

"What the hell are you laughing at?" He asked smiling as he pulled out of him and walked over to the couch to grab Kleenex.

"That was fucking amazing. Once, you started actually fucking me that is." I said as he walked back over to me. "Don't ever be afraid to fuck me however you want to." I said grabbing his face in my hands and l putting my forehead on his, looking deep into his eyes.

"Okay, but can you stop saying fuck now?" He asked.

"What would you prefer, making loooove?" I asked, my voice dripping with sarcasm. "Don't be such a girl and by the way, that was fucking." I added and he smiled, kissing both my eyebrows.

We walked upstairs naked, leaving the piles of clothes on the floor. We walked hand in hand into his huge bathroom and he started the water to get us cleaned up. I kind of hoped he would take me in the shower again, but no such luck. He did, however, wash every inch of my body. We stood under the glorious rainfall shower head and held each other and kissed and touched and were just together.

I grabbed a towel but he insisted on drying me off and towel drying my hair. If I wasn't careful I could totally get used to this. I'd always done everything for myself, but this, this felt amazing. I felt cared for and important. He stared at me like I was some sort of treasure or something. I would never understand how I could be so lucky to have met him.

We walked to the bed and climbed in. I laid on my side and he pressed himself up against me. He started to hum in my ear and I instantly relaxed. I had been feeling it a lot lately, but this was the safest I had ever felt. I couldn't help but wonder how long it would last.


	9. Chapter 9 Showdown

I don't Own any of these characters!!!

**a/n Ok, this is my nod to Kristen. Who was not only great in Twilight, but in every other movie she's been in... In case you haven't seen her in anything else, check out SPEAK, IN THE LAND OF WOMEN, INTO THE WILD, THE MESSANGERS, UNDERTOW. If you haven't seen it, go see ADENTURLAND now! Also The Cake Eaters is also out on DVD. **

**So this story is fowl and dirty and gritty. It does include some rape, but it is a back story, I will let you know when that scene comes up and you can choose to skip it if you wish. I will be doing a playlist for every chapter, some will have more songs than others, this is a club after all! Please enjoy and let me know what you think...**

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**PLAYLIST: link on profile...it has been UPDATED with all these songs and others from all other chapters! Check it out!**

**Make Tonight – Emanuel**

**I'm Lost Without You – Blink 182**

**Easier – Joey McIntyre**

**Wicked Games – Chris Isaacc**

Chapter 9 - Showdown

I woke up in the middle of the night. I was still groggy and confused when I felt feather light touches running up and down my arms.

"Bella?" I heard him whisper. I was still lying on my side and he was still lying behind me. I reacted to the sound of his voice calling my name. I mumbled something unintelligible. "Bella, are you awake?" he tried again.

"Mmm." Was all I could manage.

His fingertips trailed up and down my back and arms. "Bella, is it okay I'm doing this?" he asked quietly.

"Mmm," I mumbled again.

I felt his hands trail down my arms to my tits, lightly stroking my already hard nipples. "How about this? Is it okay if I do this?" He asked when he heard my low gasp.

"Mmm."

His hand left my breasts and moved slowly down, he kissed my shoulder and then brought his mouth to my ear. His fingers separated my legs gently and he dipped a finger inside me, making it wet. "What about this, Bella" Is it ok if I do this?"

I didn't even manage my usual response this time. I moaned as he stroked my clit with his long, soft fingers.

He kissed the side of my neck leaving tingling sensations. I felt him then lifting one of my legs and put his cock against my wet entrance. He groaned feeling my warm wetness along his shaft. "What about that, Bella." He rasped low into my ear. "Is this alright?" He scooted down a little on the bed so he could easily slide him along the outside of my pussy.

"Yes, that is definitely alright." I whispered as his breathing increased and his arm held me tight.

"Is it okay if I need you Bella? Is it okay if I need to be inside you?" He asked pausing just outside.

All I could manage was a moan which he took and rightfully so, as consent. He must have known I wouldn't protect because he had already gotten himself ready with the condom.

He slowly, agonizingly slow, slide into me. He pressed closer up to me and held me tight. He was kissing my neck and nibbling on my ear, breathing so heavily he was turning me on and I couldn't even see him.

The whole experience was incredible. I'd never stayed in bed long enough with a guy to have sex like this. Usually once it was over we'd relax a little first and then get up and leave. I'd never stayed over anywhere before.

I shut out all thought of my past & concentrated only one the feelings of pleasure as Edward slide in and out of me. I reached behind me and grabbed a fistful of his hair, turning my head I crushed my lips into his, breathing into his mouth and gasping as he moaned and grabbed me tighter and started thrusting faster.

I was so close and then he huskily grunted out my name and I was thrown over the edge and drowned in my pleasure. He lost himself just as I I did and the room with filled with the glorious sound of his release.

To be honest, I don't remember much that happened after that.

I drifted off into a deep dreamless sleep feeling totally relaxed and peaceful and for once in my life like my life was absolutely perfect. I felt like nothing bad could happen, like nothing could go wrong. I should have known it wouldn't last.

I awoke to the perfect chiming voice, sickly sweet in its utterly annoying drawl. "You're in my bed." The voice called. I groaned wishing I would just ignore it and go back to sleep.

"Go away, Tanya." I said rolling over to see her standing in the doorway. She stood in ugly salmon colour scrubs that no one could possibly look good in…_anyone but her that is_, I mentally corrected.

Her long, straight blond hair hung loosely surrounding her. She stood with her arms crossed over her chest with no trace of makeup on her perfect face. A truly fake smile was perched on her lips and I smiled a little at the look of her face. She looked pained to see me lying naked in Edward's bed.

"Okay, first of all. Not. Your . Bed." I said pausing between each word to make my point hit home. "Second, what the fuck are you doing here?" I asked scooting up so I was sitting and wrapped the blankets around myself.

"Getting all modest, are we?" She asked watching me as I covered myself up.

"Excuse me?"

"From what I hear you're better at taking your clothes off, not keeping them on." She said and I watched her fake smile turn instantly smug. I was stunned, totally taken aback by her words.

"How?" was all I could manage.

"Emmett has a big mouth. He always has. He's not ashamed of that whore he's dating, proud of himself for landing her, actually." She laughed a low, hateful chuckle. "She's a friend of yours, isn't she? Or, is she just a…colleague?" She chuckled again.

I fixed the look on my face knowing my shock and horror and humiliation was clearly showing. "That was the past, it's not who I am now."

She smiled and shook her head. "Yes it is. I knew it from the first moment I saw you." She looked me up and down. "It's going to be easier to get rid of you than I thought. How long do you think an incredibly talented, Dartmouth educated, young doctor on the fast track to becoming one of the world's best surgeons can be kept interested in an uneducated, runaway turned whore? You might keep him…entertained, but that's as far as it will go."

She looked victorious as she strode the distance to the dresser in seconds. She placed a silver frame with a bright picture placed within it on the dresser and turned back to face me. "I'll be right back there, where you are now, soon enough. Right back where I belong." My eyes never left the picture she put on display. "Swe you around, Bella." She said walking through the door.

I sat frozen, entranced by the picture which was taken on a beach. There Edward stood, his hands cupping Tanya's smiling face, as they stared tenderly, lovingly into each other's eye as the sun set behind them.

As I stared into the picture I knew she was right. I have nothing to offer Edward. I was nothing like Tanya. I was just me, the runaway whore, as she had so eloquently pointed out. I didn't belong here. This life, this perfect life, couldn't be for someone like me.

Suddenly the large, spacious room seemed small and claustrophobic. I knew I needed air so I got up and quickly threw on one of Edward's suit shirts and flew down the stairs. I wrenched the door open and hurled myself out into the cool morning air.

My breaths come in loud gasps as I tried to calm myself. This was going to hurt. This was going to be unbearably painful when he left me. It was already hurting like hell and it had only been a week, how much worse would it be if I let this continue?

I was pacing back and forth just trying to catch my breath when I heard the velvet voice I loved so much more than I should, call to me.

"Bella?" He asked. "Are you out here?" I quickly composed myself and was relieved when voice sounded relatively calm.

"Over here, Edward."

I watched as his face appeared from behind the hedges. It seemed like life had turned to slow motion. I was drinking him in. I was remembering every last inch of him, committing it to my memory, saving it for the inevitable time when he left me.

He broke into a heart-stoppingly beautiful smile and took me in his arms. "Hi" he said squeezing me to him. I inhaled deeply, allowing myself to add his sweet, musky scent to the memories I was beginning to store.

"Hi." I said and smiled weakly when he pulled away from me. My face must not have been as composed as I had hoped.

Hi brows furrowed and he brought a hand to my cheek, brushing it lightly with his fingertips. "What's wrong? You look agitated." He asked sounding concerned.

I considered lying but something made me must say it anyway. "Tanya was here."

Edward pursed his lips and rolled his eyes. "Oh?"

"She left you a present. It's in your room." I said turning my back and walking away from him.

"Shit." I heard him mutter under his breath. "What did she say?"

"Nothing I didn't already know." I said staring into the river.

He walked up behind me and I closed my eyes as he wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder. "You aren't going to tell me what she said, are you?"

"No, but you might want to ask your brother to watch what he's saying and to whom."

"What does that mean?" He asked pulling away so he could look at me.

"It means that Tanya seems to know everything about me."

He sighed and swore under his breath again. "Bella, I am so sorry. Emmett tends to have a big mouth."

"Yes, that's what Tanya said."

He groaned and kissed my neck lightly. "I'm sorry. I can only imagine the shit she said to you. I'll talk to her."

I whirled around to look at him. "No! You can't to that. Then she'll know how much she got to me." I looked pleading into his eyes and he stared right back at me.

"And she really did get to you, didn't she? Please tell me what she said so I can defend myself."

"She didn't say anything about you, Edward."

He sighed. "Then it was about how I feel about you?" When I didn't say anything he continued. "What would she know about how I feel? Her & I never shared anything like what we do." He said squeezing me.

"I don't know. The picture she left looks pretty lovey dovey to me."

"I don't know what to say. I was with her a long time, Bella. We had out good times, sure, but we had many, many worse ones. I never loved her the way I love you, not even close."

I pulled away and stepped back shaking my head. "No, you can't say that."

"Why not? It's the truth." He said reaching for me as I took another step back.

"Because, it'll hurt too much when you leave me." I said still walking backward.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me against his chest, holding me tightly. "Bella, I told you, I'm not going any where."

"Yes you will. I have nothing for you, Edward. I don't belong here." I said trying to pull away but he held me tight with one arm and taking my chin, forcing me to look at him.

"Is that the garbage that Tanya has been spouting? I never want to hear you say that again. You have tons to offer me and I can't wait to see what that entails. And you are right where you belong." He said pulling me close to him again. "Got it?' he asked.

I smiled as he nuzzled my neck and gave me a little bite. " Got it."

We stood there for a while when something came to my mind. "You know as incredible as this had been, there is stuff I need to so in the real world."

He sighed and held me tighter. "I know. We need to find you a job."

"And more immediate things like cleaning out my locker at work and getting my car, maybe going home too."

"Home? Can't you just stay here?"

"I need to go home sometime. I need clothes and things."

"But I don't want to let you go."

'Back to the real world I'm afraid, I can't hide out here forever." We walked slowly back to the house wanting to prolong this part for as long as possible.

"Hmm," Edward said considering. "I wonder where we should start. " I guess number one should be getting you your high school diploma, then we can," he looked at me then as I was staring at him, insulted. "What?"

"Excuse me, I have my high school diploma thank you very much."

"You do?" He asked sounding astonished.

"Don't sound so surprised. I'm not a total moron."

"I know you aren't, I just…when did you find the time?"

I shrugged. "School by day, whore by night."

"You have to stop saying that." He said shaking his head.

"Sorry." I said shrugging again.

"Okay, so that opens a few more doors. Anything else?" I considered telling but I hesitated. It would make any difference and it would help anything. "Bella? There is something else, isn't there?" He asked reading my hesitation.

Sigh. "I took some courses at the community college." I confessed.

He stopped and tugged on my hand so I stopped with him. "Really? What did you take?"

"English, writing classes and stuff." I said looking away.

"Why did you stop?"

I shrugged looking anywhere but at him.

"Bella," he said turning my face so I was looking at him again. "Why did you stop?"

"It got expensive with the books and stuff and then there was never time with work. Just not enough time or money." I pulled his hand and we began walking again.

"Well, the money part I can help with and the time won't be a problem either."

"No Edward, I'm not taking your money. I have to do this on my own."

"I think you've been doing far too many things on your own, you need to let people help you for a change."

"No."

"You still don't think I'm sticking around, do you?" He asked as we reached his bedroom.

"There's your present by the way." I said pointing to the silver frame. I saw him look at it and I heard him groan as I stepped into the bathroom. I turned on the shower and stepped into the large marbled encasement. I closed my eyes and let the hot water run down my body. I felt Edward behind me as he started to stroke my back.

"That picture was taken a long time ago."

"You don't owe me any explanations." I said simply.

"I haven't felt like that for her in a very long time, probably since that picture was taken."

"It's fine, really."

"It's you, Bella. It's only you." He said as he caressed my neck.

"Okay." I said.

"What can I say so you believe me?" He asked moving a piece of wet hair from my neck and kissing the spot where it had been.

"I don't know. I've never done this before. I don't like being this girl, Edward. I've never been this girl, this insecure whiny girl. I hate girls like this. More than anything I want to forget about Tanya and just be with you."

"Well, I guess we'll just have to figure out a way for you to get what you want." He said as he kissed and sucked on my earlobe. "What is it you want right now, right this second?" He whispered breathing hot breath just below my ear, making me shiver,

"You, always you." I said breathlessly.

He spun me around, picked me up and backed me against the cold tiles of the bathroom wall. "That part's easy, you already have me." He said as I wrapped my legs around him and grabbed a fist full of hair, gasping in pleasure as he plunged himself inside me.

For that moment, for all the moments when we were having sex, it felt like he was mine and I was his. Tanya didn't exist. My past wasn't a sorted, complicated mess. He was perfect and I was perfect and life was perfect. And I never wanted it to end and I never wanted reality to restart again.


	10. Chapter 10 Goodbyes

I don't Own any of these characters!!!

**a/n Ok, this is my nod to Kristen. Who was not only great in Twilight, but in every other movie she's been in... In case you haven't seen her in anything else, check out SPEAK, IN THE LAND OF WOMEN, INTO THE WILD, THE MESSANGERS, UNDERTOW. If you haven't seen it, go see ADENTURLAND now! Also The Cake Eaters is also out on DVD. **

**So this story is fowl and dirty and gritty. It does include some rape, but it is a back story, I will let you know when that scene comes up and you can choose to skip it if you wish. I will be doing a playlist for every chapter, some will have more songs than others, this is a club after all! Please enjoy and let me know what you think...**

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**PLAYLIST: link on profile...it has been UPDATED with all these songs and others from all other chapters! Check it out! .com/playlist/15811194123**

**Goodbye to You – Michelle Branch**

**I Must be Dreaming – Evenescence**

**Sound of Silence – Simon and Garfunkel**

**I Need You Tonight – Backstreet Boys**

Chapter 10 Goodbyes

We lazed around the rest of the morning. It was incredible to just sit around and chat, or read the newspaper or just sit and smile at each other. There were plenty of silences, but none of them were awkward, none of them felt like they needed to be filled with empty words.

"Hey, can I ask where you were this morning?" I asked, looking up from the book I was reading.

"Oh, I was at the hospital. I had to pop in and check on some patients. Sorry, I meant to leave you a note."

"Oh no, I was just wondering since you were gone when I woke up. I forgot about the hospital…thing." I finished lamely.

"It was nice waking up with you. I hated to leave. I almost called in sick, just so I could watch you sleep. You're so interesting when you sleep."

"Interesting?"

"Your expressions, I always wonder what you're thinking."

I chuckled. "Not much. I don't think I do dream, or if I do I don't remember them, or I don't remember the good ones anyway." I hadn't meant to say it. It just kind of slipped out. I tried to shrug it off and go back to my book.

"What about the bad ones?" He asked. I didn't look at him, I knew he would be staring at me with concern. I shrugged again, still not meeting his eyes. "Do you have bad dreams often?"

I sighed and tried to smile to show some encouragement. "Not since I've been here." I admitted. He smiled at me and grabbed my hand, pulling me against his chest.

"Then it's settled, you never leave here." He said stroking my hair and kissing my cheek.

"Meh, you'll get sick of me hogging the covers soon enough."

"Never gonna happen."

I sighed and snuggled deeper into his chest. "Edward?"

"Hmm?" he asked, his chin resting on top of my head.

"You know I have to go today."

"I know." He said simply but squeezed me tighter.

"I think I should go before you totally cut off my air supply." I said and he grumbled but released me. "You'll drive me to work so I can get my stuff?"

"Of course." He said as he got up fluidly from the couch. "And I'm staying until you have everything you need."

"You don't have to do that. No customers will be there yet. Everything will be fine."

"I don't care. I can't just leave you there again. I won't."

I smiled at him and threw on the old pair of jeans that I was sure Tanya wouldn't be wanting back and a white shirt that smelled like Edward. The shirt was pretty big so I tied the excess material into a little knot on my hip. When I was finished getting ready I looked around and sighed. As much as I knew I had to leave, I really, really didn't want to.

"Ready to go?" Edward asked from the doorway. I looked at him and smiled. He grabbed my hand and we left the safety of his bedroom.

The ride to the club seemed much too short, probably because I knew my time with Edward was ending. He parked outside the club and I stared at the entrance.

"You don't have to do this you know. I could go and,"

"No, I have to do this. I have to close this chapter of my life for good." He smiled encouragingly at me and waited a minute before he got out and walked over to my side. He opened the passenger door for me while I sat just looking at the door to the place that I used to work, the place that was my living hell.

Edward held this hand out for me and I looked at it, considering. "Together." He said as I looked into his eyes. I knew that Edward wouldn't let anything happen to me. All I had to do was walk in those doors, just one last time and it would all be behind me. I could start being the Bella that I always wanted to be. I could start being Edward's Bella.

I took a deep breath, exhaled, grabbed his hand and made myself get out of his car. We walked hand in hand and I saw Mike at the back door.

"Bella!" He called. I looked at him, smiled and waved.

"Hi Mike." I said as we continued walking to the front door of the club. He looked a little hurt and confused when I didn't go in the back like always. He must have known then that it was really over, that I hadn't stormed out in a huff only to return later. He'd seen it happen too many times, but he could tell this was different.

Edward held the door for me and we walked through the brightly lit, virtually empty club. Some of the waitresses stared as I passed but I didn't care. A new feeling was swelling in me. It was hard to put my finger on it at first, it was a feeling I felt so rarely. But I soon did and smiled as the word came to me; pride. I was proud to be done with this lifestyle. That I had been able to give it up when so many others got stuck doing it until they were too old to do it, or anything else, anymore.

Edward noticed my smile and squeezed my hand in return. I nodded and took another deep breath as we neared the dressing rooms.

"Wait for me here?" I asked hoping he would be good to his word and he wouldn't leave me.

"Of course." He said and brushed a strand of hair from my face and tucked it behind my ear. "I'm not going anywhere." He said leaning against the wall next to the door.

I smiled at him and walked into my old dressing room. As I crossed the threshold I was nearly knocked off my feet. Rose had run over to me and wrapped her arms tightly around my neck. Unfortunately, I noticed, she was naked, again.

"Oh Bella!" She cried into my ear. "I knew you'd be back! I knew you couldn't stay away."

"Rose, a little personal space please?' I said trying to peel her off.

"Oh sorry!" She said and released me. I looked around to see Alice sitting at her station. She watched me intently and I watched as her mouth frowned and she looked away into her mirror.

"Don't be stupid, Rose. She isn't back. She's in love. She's done. Isn't that right, Bella?

Rose looked from me to Alice and back to me again. She looked like a lost puppy dog and I almost hated to tell her it was the truth…almost.

"She's right, Rose. I'm done here." Rose broke into tears that were quickly staunched when James, the manager showed up.

"Like hell you are." He yelled in an intimidating, booming voice. "I own you and you aren't going anywhere until I say so. Now get ready, you have time to make up for." I blanched and stepped back automatically as he stepped forward, closer to me.

"Sorry James, I can't do this anymore. You'll have to find someone else."

He reached for me and caught my upper arm tightly. I was just about to tell him to let me go when Edward walked calmly through the door. I could tell he was desperately trying to avoid a fight, but he was also in protection mode.

"I suggest you let go of my girlfriend. Now." He demanded firmly.

James whirled around still holding onto my arm, I went with him and nearly lost my balance, stumbling as we went.

"And who the fuck do you think you are?" He sized Edward up and down. "Ahh, isn't that sweet. Aren't you the guy that paid all that money for this little slut?"

"Hey." Edward boomed, more intimidating than James had been. "That is my girlfriend, watch what you say. And I did say take you hands off of her, now." He demanded once again.

"Oh yea? And what are you going to do about it?"

I was surprised when it wasn't Edward who answered but another voice I vaguely recognized. "Well, we're just gonna have to kick you ass." It was the guy Edward was with that first night, Edward's brother Emmett. He rounded the corned and stood next to Edward. He was closely followed by the other guy that was there, the one Alice was dating, Jasper.

"Yea and we haven't had a good fight since, what, college?" Jasper said staring at my former boss.

The three of them stood side by side looking very menacing. They just stood there with their arms crossed and looking like they would be quite the team. I noticed James' eyes narrow as he weighed his options. I knew the only bouncer here was Mike and that meant that he was outnumbered, and that didn't even factor in that I knew Mike would never take a stand against me.

"Look, we're not here for a fight, we really don't want any trouble. So if you'll just let Bella grab her stuff, we'll be out of your hair." Edward said, softening his tone so that he could reason with him.

'Unless anyone else wants out, then we'll take them too." Jasper said and I followed his gaze to Alice who abruptly looked away, along with Rose. "Okay, so it's just Bella then." Jasper muttered looking slightly pissed.

James puffed himself up and pushed past the three guys. "Fine, she wasn't that great anyway." Edward took a step towards him and James tripped all over himself trying to escape from the room.

"Edward, just let him go." I said as he started to follow.

He sighed and turned back to me. "Better hurry in case he gets any ideas and calls his friends." I nodded and went over to my locker and started pulling everything from the shelves and shoving them into my duffle bag.

"Hey Rosie." I heard Emmett say behind me. She giggled as he pulled her into his arms, she was still naked, course. "Sure you don't want to follow in Bella's footsteps?" he asked.

"I'm sure." She said seductively and he sighed but muttered an okay.

Jasper and Alice just stared at each other. "Don't start." She snapped. Uh, oh, trouble in paradise. That always happened. A stripper would start dating someone who swore up and down that they were cool with it, it even turned them on, only to discover later that they weren't as cool with it as they originally thought.

When the last thing was in my bag I turned to Edward who was closer than I thought. "Done?" he asked.

"Done." I looked around at the place where I'd spent most of my adult life and looked around. Although this place was my hell and I hated it more than I ever thought was possible, I found it hard to leave. I was terrified of leaving everything behind.

Edward took the bag from me and slung it over his shoulder. Rose was still in Emmett's arms, he was behind her giving her a massive bear hug. I saw tears running down her cheek.

"Oh shit, Rose. Don't do this." I grumped.

"But, but you're leaving." She wailed.

"Doesn't mean ill never see you. You're dating my boyfriend's brother." She seemed mollified by that piece of information while I turned the word 'boyfriend' around over and over in my head, liking the way it sounded. "And, by the way it wouldn't hurt for you to wear clothes." I said as she broke free from Emmett to hug me again.

When Rose finally let me go I walked over the where Alice stood. "Hey," I started to say but she cut me off.

"Just don't, okay? Good luck in your new life." She walked away and through the dressing room door. I sighed and walked over to Edward.

"I'm ready." I said. He took my hand, smiled and led me out of the club. We were walking back to our cars when I looked back to see Mike still standing there at the back door.

"Can you give me a sec?" I asked pulling my hand out of Edward's grasp. "I'll just be a minute, promise." He nodded and stood right where I stopped as I turned and walked slowly back to Mike.

He bowed his head and frowned at the ground when he saw me coming. "Hey Mike."

"Hey." He said still looking down. "So, you're really done?" He asked so quietly I barely heard him. I nodded and he just shook his head. "'kay, see you."

"Oh come on, don't do that, you knew it would happen sometime. I couldn't do this forever."

"Yeah, but I just didn't think it would be because of a guy." He sneered looking over to where Edward stood.

"It's not like that. Edward gave me the courage to know I could be something more, that I was worth more than this." I said waving my hands dismissively at my former work place.

"I always knew you were worth more." He muttered, still not meeting my gaze.

"Thanks buddy." I said. "Look you gotta take care of my girls for me, okay?" he nodded as I smiled and flung my arms around his neck. "Okay, I'm going to turn around and walk away now. I'll even let you get one last look at my ass, okay?" He barked a laugh and I squeezed his neck. "Okay, you ready?"

"Ready. I guess I better make it count. I don't know the next time I'm gonna get permission to look at your ass." I thumped him on the back, squeezed one more time and broke away.

"See ya Mike." I said as I turned on my sexiest smile and giving my hips a little extra sway. He whistled and slapped my ass. I saw Edward take a step forward looking a little pissed. I shook my head slightly, letting him know that everything was okay.

"Bells, if he ever fucks up, I'll be right here, all you gotta do it say the word." He called after me to which I turned around, smiled and shot him the middle finger.

I reached Edward and took the hand he held out for me. He looked questioningly at me. I shrugged. "I've known him forever, it's just what he's always done."

We walked to my car and put my stuff in the trunk. He leaned against it and pulled me into him, holding me tightly around the waist.

"Are you sure I can't convince you to come back to my place with me?"

"I can't. I really have to go home." He frowned and nodded. "But I'll see you tomorrow, right?"

"Absolutely. Come over anytime."

"Okay."

"Okay."

"So, I guess I'd better," I said trying to break free of Edward's hold.

"Nope, sorry, I'm not ready yet." He said grabbing me tighter.

We stood just holding each other for a while and it was getting later. I resisted as long as I could, after all I didn't want to leave him anymore than he wanted me to go. But when customers started arriving I knew it was time to go. "Edward?"

"I know, I know." He said, first squeezing me tighter, then kissing the top of my head and then holding me at arms length. "Tomorrow, right?"

"Right." I said. I tried to turn but he grabbed my face in both of his hands and looked deep into my eyes staring at me for a long while. Finally he broke the silence. "Be safe." He said before capturing my lips for a soft but intense kiss. He stroked my cheeks and I knotted my fingers in his hair.

One hand left my face and traveled down my body, slowly. He was starting to awaken desire in me and for one brief moment I thought he was going to grab my ass and pull me into him. Instead his hand left my side and I heard the door pop open. Edward broke away from out kiss and stepped away from me, holding the car door open.

I hesitated then mentally kicked myself. It was ridiculous. "Get a grip." I told myself, after all I would be seeing him in less than twenty-four hours!

I got in and closed the door, rolled down the window and started the car. "Bella," Edward called. I turned my head to find his face at my window. "Don't forget to bring stuff to my place, so you don't have to leave too often." Then he grinned at me and I nearly gasped at the beautiful, wicked smile that took over his frown. "And I wouldn't be opposed if you wanted to bring over any of your old, umm…costumes, either." I giggled and leaned in to trace his bottom lip with my tongue, pausing only to nip at it with my teeth.

"Any one in particular?" I asked seductively.

He thought for a moment. "Nurse, maybe?" I narrowed my eyes and frowned at him.

"What? I can't act on the fantasy at work, why not at home, with the one I want to act it out with?" He said playfully before sticking his head in the window and kissing me deeply, making my blood boil. All too soon he pulled away and stood up.

"Tomorrow." He said as he watched me drive away.

My heart sank as I watch him disappear from my rear-view mirror, all I wanted to do was turn around and throw myself into his arms, but I forced myself to continue on.

I turned the corner onto my street and frowned as my small, crappy house came into view. Sighing, I pulled into my driveway. I grabbed my bag and grumped into my shit hole. I set my bag down and looked around, what a dump it was.

Looking around, I thought about how there was no way I was ever going to bring Edward here. With that thought I grabbed my duffle bag and ran up the stairs. I got to my room and started pulling everything out of my closest and drawers. I started packing what I was going to bring to Edwards.

After I packed I sat, literally twiddling my thumbs and willing the clock to move faster. When that didn't work I decided to take a shower to kill some time.

I thought about what I was going to do to get a decent job and what kind of jobs I might be qualified for. When the thought of burger flipper or gas station attendant became too depressing, I shut the water off and climbed into bed.

It took a long time but I finally fell asleep, but it was anything but the peaceful sleep I enjoyed with Edward. I could tell the moment my nightmare began, when I saw my stepfather's face.

In this "sleep" I resigned myself to the fact that I was not going to wake up until the dream had run its course. I finally awoke with the furious, hurt face of my mother filling my memory. I would never forget how she looked directly into my eyes before she told me to never come back, as she slammed the door in my face.

Once my sobs and shaking and gasping for air had finally subsided I got up and threw on my oldest, most comfortable, most hideous looking sweats, grabbed my keys and my bag and got into my car.

As I drove in the blackness of the moonless night my body just seemed to know where to go and how to get there. There was a pull that I could feel drawing me to where I knew I wanted, to where I needed, to be.

I stopped the car and got out, running up to the door. I didn't even get the chance to knock before it opened wide. There Edward stood looking heartbreakingly stunning in nothing but pyjama bottoms.

I looked liked crap, I know I did. My eyes were puffy, my hair was a total mess and my nose was red. But, even with all this, he looked at me like I was the most beautiful girl in the world (even despite the sweats, which really were horrible).

"Hi" was all I said before he opened his arms wide. I walked right into them and he just held me. He said nothing before he grabbed my hand and we were walking upstairs. He walked me to my side of the bed, held the sheets back for me and when I got in he covered me up.

"I left my bag," I started to say as he got into the bed on the other side.

"It doesn't matter." He said as he wrapped his arms around me and held me close. He hummed softly, stroking my hair. I don't know how long it was before I fell asleep, but it wasn't long.

I slept peacefully for the rest of the night, cozied into Edward's chest. He never spoke, he never moved, he just held me until the sun broke free from the darkened night.


	11. Chapter 11 The Hunt

a/n - ok ok ok I know It`s been a looong time...But it`s here now, so lets just enjoy it, ok? Promise it won`t be so long next time...please feel free to leave me comments, reviews or quetsions...reviews are especially good...lol enjoy!

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Chapter 11 - The Hunt

I felt myself waking up, still cuddled into Edward's chest. I was so comfortable, so warm, so safe, that I tried to fight to stay asleep for a while longer. Eventually, I realized I was not going to fall back to sleep, so I opened my eyes and looked up to see Edward looking back at me.

"Good morning." He said softly while brushing a stray hair from my face.

"Good morning." I answered. We stayed like that for a while, me laying on his chest, his arms wrapped tightly around me, just staring into each other's eyes.

"Bella, can I know what happened last night?" He asked. I sighed and broke out of his hold. I sat up and my gaze fell to his dresser which no longer held the picture of him and Tanya.

"Hey, where's the picture?" I asked, smiling to myself only a little.

"Of Tanya? I gave it to Emmett to give back to her with a message to stay away from us. Now, please stop stalling. What happened?" He asked as he sat up beside me pressing his lips to my shoulder.

"Look, I'm sorry. I just…I had to…I needed….Nevermind." I stuttered not knowing what or how to say what I needed.

"First of all, don't ever apologize for coming here. I'm the one who wanted you to stay remember?" He said while leaving light kisses on the side of my neck "Please, just tell me what happened."

"It was just a dream."

"And you remember it?" He asked and I only nodded. "Then it was bad." He studied me, remembering that I didn't ever remember my dreams, only my nightmares. "It wasn't a dream, was it Bella?" I sighed and shook my head.

"No, not a dream.. I guess it was more like a memory." I rested my chin on my knees and closed my eyes as his hand rubbed my back slowly, soothingly.

"You're stepfather?" I nodded again. We were quiet for a long while before he finally broke the silence. "Bella, I think you need to get closure on this whole situation." I looked at him, unsure of what he was suggesting.

"You don't mean," I started, confused and looked back at him feeling my eyebrows furrow.

"Yea, I do. You need to confront them."

I snorted in amusement. "I think I got enough "closure" when she slammed the door in my face. I don't think it could get any more closed than that."

He started to argue with me but I could feel the feelings of panic rising up in my chest. The thought of seeing my stepfather again, to have his eyes on me was starting to send me into an attack and I couldn't have another one of those so close to the last one and not with Edward, not again. I jumped out of the bed. "Look Edward, I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"Bella," he started to say, reaching for my hand but I pulled away making my way to the door.

"No, Edward. I'm serious. This subject is off limits. If you'd like, I can go."

He grabbed my hand as he knelt on the bed, pulling me close to him. "Bella, I'm sorry. I'll drop it, for now, but you can't keep running away from this, unless you want to have nightmares forever."

I sighed. "I'm sorry, look I won't do this again. I just, I needed you." I tried to pull away again but his hold was firm.

"Hey," he said forcing me to look at him. "Like I said, there is never a problem with you coming here, ever, for any reason. In fact, I never want you to leave. I just don't like seeing you like that, it scares me."

"I'm sorry." I said quietly.

"Stop saying that." He said as he started to kiss me, parting my lips slightly with his tongue.

"Okay." I surrendered, feeling his tongue dancing with mine.

"Okay." He said rising up onto his knees so he could pull me closer. I went to him willingly enough and giggled as he pulled me and we tumbled onto the bed so I lay on top of him.

"This is so much better than fighting." I said as he started to lick my neck making me squirm which made my hips grind against his groin making him moan in turn.

"We weren't fighting." He murmured still sucking gently.

"Yes, we were. I know, because this is makeup sex and from what I hear makeup sex is really hot. So, we were fighting."

He laughed and grabbed my ass forcing me harder onto him. "Well, if makeup sex with you is better than regular sex, I'm not sure that I can handle it."

I grabbed his face in my hands and kissed him hard and deep as his hand snaked up my back, tickling me and suddenly wrapping so tight around me it made me gasp. My whole body felt like it was on fire. "I think I'd like to fight more." I said as he released me and he started to pull up on the hem of my shirt. He had it almost all the way off when the door bell rang.

"Crap." I heard him mutter under his breath as his lips released mine and his hands replaced my shirt to cover me again.

I groaned in frustration. "Go away." I yelled, not caring in the least who it was.

Sooner than should be possible the bedroom door swung open and I turned to look at who was interrupting us again. Edward's tall, muscular brother stood in the doorway with his arm draped lazily around Rosalie.

"Hey bro, ah shit. Sorry dude. I guess you're a little busy, huh?

"Yea, we kinda are." Edward grumbled.

"Well don't worry about us, please, continue." He said as he still stood in the doorway watching us.

"Out!" Edward yelled.

"Come on, I've already seen her naked." Emmett smiled and if I weren't so horny and in need of having Edward inside me, I might have laughed, alas I was in serious need.

"Out." Edward and I yelled together.

"Fine, fine. We'll be downstairs. But hurry up with the sexin' would ya?" Emmett turned and left with a smile still perched on his lips.

Edward and I sat there for a few minutes not saying anything. I frowned at him. "What are they doing here?" I asked at last, frustration building deep within me.

"I invited them; I kind of forgot to tell you." I removed myself from his lap and he walked over to the drawers pulling out a pair of jeans and one of his white shirts. "Today is the start of your job hunting. They are going to help."

"Help? Them, really?" I said sceptically getting out of bed and removing my shirt as he retreated into his closet, removing himself from the temptation that I knew my body would surely invoke in him.

"We'll start an assembly line of sorts, it'll go faster." He said emerging from the closet. I stared at him; his shirt was open as he did the buttons up on his sleeves. I bite my lip as my eyes traveled down his body. I knew what was hiding, waiting for me behind the confines of his pants. I wanted nothing more than to undo his belt and...

"Oh no you don't. I know that look and it's not going to happen when my brother is downstairs." He did up a few buttons before hastily tucking the shirt into his pants. He held his hand out to me and I walked over to him, taking it and smirking at him.

"You're no fun at all, you know that don't you?" We walked downstairs into what looked like a war zone. Newspapers were scattered everywhere and laptops strewn all over the place. "And by the way? You're changing the locks and removing the doorbell." I said as I watched Emmett with disgust as he ate a giant chicken leg that looked to have been removed right from the fridge and not even been bothered to heat up.

Edward sighed, "It won't help. He always finds a way in." We both grimaced when he threw the finished bone on the coffee table that he had propped his boots on. Edward sighed and pulled me along to where his laptop sat on the ornate black, silver trimmed desk.

I imagined all the ways we could use this desk that didn't involve the laptop. Edward broke me out my fantasies about being bent over said desk, when he pulled me to him and into his lap. "Ok Bella, what are your skills?"

Emmett barked out a laugh that startled us both. "How about," he started but before he could start naming anything Edward revised his question.

"Bella, what skills do you have that can get you a reputable job, one that involves your clothes staying on, for example?"

I scowled in concentration and relayed anything I could think of. Edward typed furiously and listened as I rattled off every piece of my history. When he was finished I had a very professional looking resume and a long list of jobs I could apply to.

Edward hit print and went to retrieve the stack while he set me in front of the computer so I could start applying online. Emmett and Rose kept up with me and we applied like mad to everything and anything. By the time we reached the end of the list I was fairly confident that something would come up, it had to.

When all the applying was complete Edward pulled me up from my chair and into his arms. "I'm proud of you." He said nuzzling the spot between my shoulder and my neck.

"I didn't do anything." I said, getting lost in his kisses and licks and nibbles.

"Of course you did. This was the beginning of a huge step for you." He whispered as his tongue started to lick at my earlobe and flicked softly.

"I think they need to go now" I said pressing myself closer to him.

"I agree." He whispered again. "Ok guys, thanks so much, see you later."

Emmett looked up from his computer incredulous. "What? No, I was promised beer and wings after the intensive labour."

"Rain check." Edward muttered stepping away from me to go to his brother, grabbing anything Emmett brought. "You interrupted us once." He said as Emmett rose from the couch grabbing Rosalie's hand and pulling her to his side.

"Oh, I see how it is. Hoes before bros." Emmett paused and wrinkled his brow as Edward's face froze in a mask of fury. "Whoa, wait a sec. I didn't mean it like that man, seriously." Emmett held his hands up palms forward, in surrender when he caught look on Edward's face. "Guess we need a new saying, huh?"

I grabbed Edward's hand and slid it around my waist. "It's okay. I know what you meant. It's all good, right Edward?"

Edward continued to shoot daggers at his brother. When he didn't answer me I elbowed him. He glanced to me and looked searchingly into my eyes, for anger or hurt, I guessed but he didn't find any.

"Yea it's fine, I guess."

Emmett quickly gathered everything up and left without any more hesitation, probably for the best, considering the look that was still on Edward's face.

We sat around for a while and just sat on the couch, just holding hands. Edward stared off into the distance with a contemplative expression. It seemed as though nothing I could do could get his attention.

Sighing, I pursed my lips trying to figure out how to bring him out of his mood. Not that sitting here with Edward doing nothing was boring. Just being with him was more than enough, except for, well, we had been interrupted earlier and sitting on a couch, doing nothing was not exactly what I would choose to be doing when Edward and I were finally alone.

I took a side long glance at him through the corner of my eye. He looked so disturbed and I wanted nothing more than to make that look go away.

I leaned over and straddled him, taking his face in my hands. "Hey, he didn't mean anything by it. That's not the worst thing I've ever been called." I said stroking his face with my thumbs.

"It doesn't matter what you've been called in the past, I never want to hear those words from anyone again." He said with a gruff tone.

"It's not going to be the last time someone calls me something like that. People are going to find out what I did. People are always going to see me for what I was. It's something you have to get used to, I have. They're just words." I tried to soothe, it apparently didn't work.

He grabbed my wrists and held them tight to his chest. "That isn't something we should have to deal with, Bella. It's what you had to do, not what you are." I stared at him, not really sure what to do. If it had been anyone but Edward I would have been on the defensive, quickly jerking away and across the room. But, it was Edward, and I knew that he would never hurt me.

He seemed to have realized what he had done, his eyes traveled down to where his hands bound mine, he stared at them for a split second before releasing me like he had been burned. "God, Bella, I'm sorry." He said removing me from his lap and putting me next to him.

I looked at him for a moment before climbing right back to where I wanted to be, sitting in his lap once again. "I know you wouldn't hurt me." I said as I reached out to touch his face, but this time it was him who flinched away from me. I stared at him confused. In the grand scheme of all the things that happened to me in my life, this was nothing. It was Edward, Edward my saviour, who would never hurt me, ever.

I tried to kiss him but he remained rigid beneath me. I slipped my tongue between his lips just ever so slightly and licked the top one, massaging it. There was no response from him and I stared to become agitated.

"Would you quit it! I know you wouldn't hurt me. Come on, you're ruining the makeup sex." This earned me a smile and I felt his hands trail up my ankles, then slowly up my calves, up to the back of my thighs and then finally they came to rest on either side of my ass with a little squeeze.

"Always so eager. Do you ever think of anything else?" He asked eyes on mine.

"When I'm with you, no. But, if it's a problem I suppose I can go find something else to do." I said getting up out of his lap. I turned to stride away (knowing he would never let me get far) when he caught me by the belt loop and turned me to face him.

"It's never a problem" He said as he leaned forward and popped the button on my jeans & easily slide the zipper down. I shimmied out and left them sitting on the floor as I climbed back into his lap, the only place I ever really wanted to be.

I straddled him leaving a slight distance between my lower half and his. I undid all of the buttons on his shirt and trailed my fingers across his broad shoulders revealing his perfect chest. I could feel that ache in my body. That longing for him to be inside me, filling me. I wanted to revel in that feeling just a little bit longer.

I closed my eyes as his hands traveled up my sides, up my arms to grasp my shoulders gently. He pulled me to him so my tits were pressed up against his chest. I still kept a distance between us and he leaned closer in towards me grazing my neck with his lips. I felt when his tongue snaked out to lick and then gently suck. The burning where his lips touched my skin. "Bella, please." He murmured.

That was it, I could no longer deny either of us what we needed. I reached between us only to undo his pants, pushing them down just enough. I reached into his boxers and pulled out his very hard and very ready cock. If he hadn't just pleaded with me I would have teased him, touched him more, but neither of us wanted that.

I wasted no time in positioning myself directly over his cock and plunged myself down so he was filling me completely. I gasped feeling him fill me while we grunted at the sensation. His strong arms wrapped went up my back and grasped onto my shoulder, holding me closer to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and threw my head back when he pushed deeper into me and pulled me closer. He leaned in and sucked on my neck as he thrust faster.

I could tell it wasn't going to take either one of us long, quality was so much better than quantity in this particular instant that I really didn't mind. I could feel myself tighten around him and I knew he could feel it too, he knew I was close. His arms left my shoulder and one moved to wrap around my waist while his other hand went to the back of my head forcing me to look at him.

"Look at me, Bella" He said. I opened my eyes to look into his. They were full of fire and heat and passion and they sent me over the edge. I came as I looked into his eyes while he looked into mine. It was mere seconds after that I felt and saw him have his own release.

We sat there for a moment just looking at each other until, for whatever reason, we dissolved into a fit of laughter. We laughed and smiled and he stroked my cheeks and my hair and I just watched him in total awe. I finally felt like a real girlfriend. Like I wasn't just a girl to fuck. I was something, someone special to someone that was special to me. I smiled.

"What?" He asked tracing the curve of my lips with him thumb.

"Nothing. Let's go get cleaned up." I climbed off his lap and held out my hand for him. He grasped my hand and stood up pulling me to him. He kissed me. There was nothing in this kiss that would have told anyone that we had just had sex. It was still filled with longing and need and passion. And I wanted that, I wanted that feeling for the rest of my days on earth.

He broke away leaving me wanting more and guided me upstairs into the bedroom.

"You should look in the closet, I got you a robe." He said as he let go of my hand and walked towards the shower.

"You...you got me a robe?" I asked stupidly.

"Yes, I got you a robe."

"Oookay." I said as I strolled slowly into the huge closest. I paused in disbelief. "Edward? What did you do?" I asked as I stared at an unfamiliar site before me, this was not how this closet looked the last time I saw it.

Both sides of the closet used to be filled with men's suit jackets and ties and shirts and pants and dress shoes and other men type things, but now....Now, there was only one wall of the men's type stuff. The other side of the closet was filled with women's skirts, pants, silk shirts, suit jackets and modest high-heeled shoes.

"My mother did actually. She was concerned that you might not have the proper attire for interviews and such." He peeked around the corner looking worried. "I hope it's ok, she just...she just wants the best for you." I stood in the closet and looked around at all the beautiful clothes, they were all designer. They were all beautiful.

"They're too much. How can I accept these?" I asked staring at a beautiful navy blue v-neck cashmere sweater.

"I'm not sure you have much of a choice. She'll never take them back." He walked into the closet, fingers rummaging through hangers. "Ahh this one, I think you should wear this." He handed me a silky periwinkle blue robe.

He grabbed my hand with the robe in his other hand. "But, after I clean up in the shower."

I considered. "Wait, do you mean get clean or get dirty,"

He looked over his shoulder at me with a sly smile. "What would you prefer?" He said as he released me hand to undo his pants.

"Dirty. Definitely dirty." I said as I watched his pants fall to the floor.


	12. Chapter 12 Hello Doctor Cullen

Chapter 12 – Hello, Dr. Cullen

The next few weeks with Edward were great. We were together all the time, except for when he was at work or I was looking for work.

This job hunting thing was about as hard as I'd always feared it would be. After almost 2 months I still had nothing. I had interviews everyday but it seemed I was not qualified for anything and no one was even willing to give me a chance.

I returned to my house only on rare occasions to pick up something. I didn't like to hang out there very much since the electricity had long since been turned off, thanks to the whole unemployment situation which left me with barely enough to pay the rent. I refused to tell Edward how bad things were becoming, how dire my situation was becoming, as it was he never let me pay for dinner, groceries, movies or anything. I was beginning to feel more like a mooch than a girlfriend and was starting to become depressed.

Today was a rare day with no interviews. Edward was off at work and I was alone in his big, lonely house. I took a walk, I read a book, but still my mind kept running. What would I do if I never got a job? When would things get bad enough that I wouldn't have a choice? What would happen if the only thing I could ever do was strip?

I tried to push such thoughts away, instead focusing on my favourite distraction, Edward, or more specifically the way it felt when Edward was near me, touching me, kissing me.

I remembered a particular time a while back when we were in the shower. I remembered how he tried to be good as he stepped in after me. "Now Bella, this is just a shower. I really do need to get to work."

I mentally rolled my eyes at him knowing that anytime we were in the shower together could never be _just_ a shower, but I smiled sweetly, knowing that it would only entice him more.

It was as though my mind was flashing through the moments of that day. My back to him, him moving my hair to the side so he could kiss my neck softly. His hands roaming over my body as he pretended to wash me. Me pressing my ass back against him and him moaning my name. Him, finally, giving in and placing my hands on the wall of the shower before his hands traveled slowly down my arms, to my waist and then to my hips. He gripped them tightly as I raised myself on to my tip toes, waiting for him. Suddenly he was inside me and the world just felt complete. We both gasped at the feeling.

I was brought back to the present, to that lonely house and I need to not sit there any longer. I remembered a conversation Edward and I had months ago when we were going our separate ways before I started, in essence, living in his home.

I smiled to myself and ran up the stairs to my "secret" dresser. I rummaged through it until I found what I was looking for. I put it on and gathered my long white trench coat, my key and my purse. It was time to pay Edward a little visit.

The drive to the hospital seemed longer than usual and I nearly bounced in excitement all the way there. I couldn't wait to see the look on his face!

When I got to the hospital I was met by a surly looking, heavy set nurse who didn't seem too pleased with my sickness excuse and wanting to see Doctor Cullen, the young, talented surgeon who I knew was doing an ER rotation this week. However, she didn't seem to care enough to question me. She took my information and surprisingly showed me to a private room right away, I'd apparently chosen a day that was not so busy.

I walked around the room, glancing at all the equipment. I was nervous and excited to see what Edward would think about my little surprise. I straightened my jacket and stood next to the bed figuring I should be ready for when he would walk in the door. It seemed to take a very long time and I was glad that I had lots of practice standing around in stiletto heels, if I didn't these shoes would be killing my legs.

Finally the door swung open and in walked Edward. He looked gloriously beautiful in his black slacks, white dress shirt and blue and black striped tie. His hair had its normal unruly wave and I just wanted to grab it and run my fingers through it.

"What seems to be the problem, Ms. –"he asked, head still bent so he could study the chart he'd been holding.

"Hello Doctor Cullen, I'm just here for a quick check-up." He starts when he hears my voice. His eyes go right to my face and he looks right at me.

"Bella, what are you doing here? Is everything-"He starts to say but I can see his eyes starting to travel down. He was taking in my white trench coat that goes almost to my knees. He was taking in the white stockings that wrapped around my calves. He's taking in the 4 inch white stiletto pumps that make my stocking covered legs look like they go on forever. I can see he's thinking but he hasn't put it together yet.

"I don't know, Doctor Cullen. It seems like it's a little hot in here, or is it just me? "I ask fanning myself with my hand, looking at him through under my lashes. He's looking at me a little stunned; I don't think he knows what to think. I decide it's time for another clue. My hand snakes its way across my body so slowly and removes the knot in my belt. I let it fall open and then shrug slowly out of it, letting it slip off my arms until it hits the floor with a muffled thud.

I was standing in front of him and I swear his eyes were quite in danger of bugging out of his head. His eyes raked slowly over my body, finally having time to take in the very tight, very cleavage revealing white and red nurses uniform and thigh high white stockings with little weaving and bows embroidered in the tops of them.

He swallowed hard at the sight of me. It was a look I'd seen many men give me before, but this, this was the first time that Edward looked at me like this. This was not the look of love, or adoring or protection that he so often wore. No, this was a look of pure want and passion and need.

"Bella," he said, his voice husky and deep. He shifted uncomfortably and looked towards the door. "You look, I mean. Wow. It's just, well, I'm at work." He splutters out.

"And?" I ask, cocking my head to the side and raising my eyebrows at him.

"And...Well, what if someone walks in?" He says looking for an excuse.

I smirked at him and then start moving to the door, slowly. I came within an inch of touching him as I passed and I could see him close his eyes and inhale. He was inhaling the scent of me, just as I so often did with him. I crossed to the door and put my back to it, never taking my eyes from his I reached my hand out and turned the lock.

"There, that's one problem solved. Any other problems you can think of Doctor Cullen?" I asked with my sexiest smirk, arching my back so only my shoulders stayed in contact with door.

"Well there is one that I can think of." He said making his way over to stand directly in front of me, his eyes deadlocked on mine.

"And what is that, Doctor Cullen?" I asked.

He looked me up and down. "I'm not sure I can be gentle with you, when you look like this. You, you do things to me. Make me feel things I've never felt before. You make me feel, primal, like I need you; I need to be with you, in you, all the time. The thoughts, the thoughts I have, they aren't the thoughts a good boyfriend has for the woman he loves." He's not looking at me now. His eyes are far away, they almost seem guilty.

"Oh, Doctor Cullen, I think these thoughts and feelings of yours are more than normal and I think it's time he explored them fully. Tell me what you want."

He still didn't look at me. "I just, I want to have you without thinking about it, I just want to feel. But I always feel like I need to be careful, with everything you've been through, with everything that's been done to you...I just I don't feel like I can let myself go."

I brought my hand to grasp his tie tightly. "You don't have to worry about me. I know you want to fuck me and that's ok. We don't need to always be "making love"-"I silently rolled my eyes, I hate that expression with every fibre of my being. "I feel the same way, believe me. And I want you to let yourself go, I want you to be yourself. If you want to fuck me, then you should fuck me."

He searches my eyes for a few moments and I know what he sees there. He sees that I'm being honest, that I'm telling him the truth and that is the exact moment I see his expression change. His eyes darken and he licks his lips, throwing caution to the wind, he reached both hands up to my throat where he gently traced the lines at my neck before they both traveled down the center of my chest to where they gently rest against my heart for just a moment. I can see he's made the decision.

"Well, Nurse I think we should start with a thorough examination." He said as his hands move down more quickly, full of purpose, to the top of the dress and continued downwards. They rest just above my navel when he sticks them between the buttons and pulls. The buttons on the nurse outfit I'm wearing scatter and the dress hangs open and he looks hungrily at the red lacy see-through bra.

His hands go to his belt and he quickly relives himself of all unnecessary clothing. He walks forward just the three steps that are separating us and wraps his hands around my body, going low to my ass as they rest there so he can pick me up. He lifts me and shoves me roughly against the door as his lips find my neck and he starts to lick and suck and nip.

Knowing exactly what he wants I reach between us and grab his already hard cock, wish we had more time, but knowing we don't, I push my panties aside and put the head right against me. He needs no further invitation and shoves deeply into me. We both have to stifle moans and he pumps rapidly with long, deep strokes. I grab at his hair and pull hard to make him look at me. Our eyes are locked and I see the passion in his eyes and I know he sees it in mine. "Fuck." He says, trying to keep quiet. I know he's as close as I am. I shove my hips against him and arch my back off the door to give him more leverage.

"Fuck, Edward. Don't stop." I say through gritted teeth as I feel myself tense around him. I let myself go and I feel his grip tighten as he releases into me. We stay like that for a little while both breathing hard.

He put me down and I looked around at the scattered buttons. "Well I'm glad I brought a coat." I said smiling looking into his eyes, which have returned to his normal sweet ones. We both laugh as he mutters an apology. He was still so close and I was still up against the wall, I tried to move, knowing he had to get back to work, but he wouldn't let me.

"Edward?"

He stared at me for a long moment, not saying anything. I tried again to pull away but again he won't let me. "I've been thinking," he starts and then waits, I raised my eyebrows and just stare at him, not really sure what to do. After I while I reach out and touch his face. He closes his eyes and snuggles into my hand. "I love you."

"I love you too, but you really do have to go to work, you'll get in trouble." I know at that point he's spent too much time with me and someone is bound to come looking for him.

"I don't think you know just how much I love you. Bella?" He looked into my eyes finally, raising his head up and out of my hand. "Bella, I love you and I want you to marry me."

I stare at him waiting for the punch line but nothing comes. "What?" was the only thing I could manage to force from my lips, totally and utterly sure I could not have heard him properly.

"Marry me, Bella."


End file.
